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In the days of yore and in lands yonder, fountains of oatmeal were a common sight. They dotted the villages and hamlets, in their central squares and plazas. It was a gathering place for the townsfolk, where they could share their day’s stories and acquire breakfast for the next morning. There was happiness and good cheer around the fountains.

But for one man, the oatmeal fountain was a travesty, a mockery of what nature had intended. The fountains were typically erected over naturally occurring deposits of prepared oatmeal so as to allow easy access to breakfast. But François knew these oatmeal deposits were so much more than just breakfast. He knew that the oatmeal fountains were not harnessing the full potential of oatmeal deposits. He knew that the the best use would be…oatmeal hot tubs.

The previous was brought to you by a five minute brain dump inspired by this conversation:

Me: I am writing with a fountain pen. 9:56 AM
Friend: I read that u were writing about a fountain 10:00 AM
Me: I am writing about a fountain. 10:01 AM
Me: That might be a good exercise. Maybe I’ll do it. 10:01 AM

I may or may not finish the story as I warranted that a five minute brain dump was a good enough exercise.  My brain dump stories tend to get out of hand pretty quickly.

 

I have been coveting freezer paper for a long time.  It seems like a ridiculous things to covet.  But I am a ridiculous kind of person.

Anyway, why would I want freezer paper so badly?  To make stenciled t-shirts of course (and other things).

You see, I wear a lot of t-shirts (or at least I try to).  Most of my t-shirts have uncommon quotes on them.  Possibly even rare quotes.  Probably not epic quotes.

Example: One of my favorite shirts right now just says “meh.”  I actually have two of these.  One is a normal white silk screened shirt and the other one is in gold foil.  You know, for dressy occasions.

My sister has the same taste in nerdy shirts, although her shirts tend to go more toward the physics side of things.  One of her favorites has “Schrodinger’s cat is dead” on the front and “Schrodinger’s cat is not dead” on the back.

And while it’s perfectly acceptable to buy said shirts, what if they’re discontinued?  Or don’t have the right size?  Or use terrible American Apparel shirts?  Or more likely, I can’t find exactly what I want on the shirt?  I really should just make my own.

I had thought about getting a personal screen printer, but a friend told me it would just be something else I would store.  She was probably correct.  Also, it was really small.  And it probably wouldn’t really be very cost effective.

I had also considered just hacking together a screen printing system of my own.  It’s not hard to do.  I have the material to make the screen and frame.  I would just need to get drawing fluid and screen filler.  This would be more cost effective, but it would also require more effort on my part.  Also, with both these methods, I would be left with a permanent stencil.  What if I only wanted one shirt?  Seems like a waste of effort for just one shirt.

Thus, freezer paper stenciling.  Freezer paper is good for stenciling shirts because you can make your one off quote for a t-shirt and be done with it.  I made a shirt for a friend recently as an inside joke.

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It’s in Arial, 72pt, bold.  I used the Silhouette to cut it out because…why wouldn’t I?  I had to do a little cleanup with an X-acto knife after.

It was a little tricky ironing everything down because of all the separate counters and tittles (I read a book about typeface history once) I had to iron on after the main sheet.

I used a bottle of Tulip Soft Fabric paint, matte finish, in glacier white.  And…I was a bit too enthusiastic in sponging on the paint.  It bled a little under the freezer paper.  Sugh.  Sponging paint onto a stencil is not like needle felting.  You can’t be so enthusiastic about the stabbing and jabbing and expect to get away with it.

But it was still entirely legible.

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Because it’s totally true.