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Category Archives: ponderings

Midlife crisis (Part 3)

And finally, the last part on my series of posts detailing midlife crises (MLCs).

These series of posts all came about by an offhand remark from her brother about my MLC taking a Backstreet Boys cruise.  I had no idea such things existed.  I didn’t really look at the site, but I assume it’s just a cruise on which there are the Backstreet Boys.  I guess they perform while you’re cruising?  I guess?  It doesn’t sound very interesting to me.  Actually, it sounds closer to “downright horrid” to me.  Cruises are not interesting to me already to the point that the very idea of being on a cruise is barely tolerable.  If you add the Backstreet Boys to an idea that is already barely tolerable, doesn’t that bring it squarely into the territory of downright horrid?  I’m pretty sure it does.

Anyway, my MLC shared the comment her brother made with me and we decided to speculate about who would want to go on such a cruise.  We suspect people who want to relive the 90s.  Maybe those going through their midlife crises.  I’m not sure if that fits exactly, because isn’t that a resistance to change instead of a strong desire for it?  I could see how there’s emotional turmoil though.  I mean, these aren’t really the Backstreet Boys anymore.  They’re more like the Backstreet Men…maybe even the Backstreet Geezers.  That probably would cause you a lot of emotional turmoil if you remember them and prefer to remember them as the Backstreet Boys (BSB).

So, once again, I’m really glad I have a master craftsman MLC who only gives me headaches instead of horrid cruises in which I have to listen to the Backstreet Geezers and be around all these other women (maybe some men too) with their inferior MLCs going through all this emotional turmoil and possibly strong desires for change.  But just for fun (snort), let’s consider if I were on such a cruise.

From glancing at the website, I believe that their itinerary involves Florida and the Bahamas.  These destinations are unacceptable to me.  I would obviously have to move the cruise so that it would go to Alaska from Washington.  So then, I’m on a cruise with my MLC, because this is a BSB cruise after all and only people who are going through (or have) MLCs are allowed on them, and we are going up to Alaska.  Seeing as how I dislike cruises and BSB cruises even more, I might have to somehow maneuver the situation to where the ship can hit a titanium seal, which would rip a huge hole in the bow and then promptly start sinking the ship, because obviously the ship is just like the Titanic (I do know that the Titanic didn’t hit the iceberg head on, but instead scraped one on the starboard side, but we’re talking about titanium seals here and not icebergs, and the shoddy design of passenger ocean liners in general).  It’s important that the seal is a titanium seal, because the seal has to escape unharmed except for maybe a bruise or two.  I have nothing against seals.  Only BSB cruises.  Also, the ship has to hit a titanium seal because icebergs are in short supply up in the northern Pacific.

So, the cruise ship has hit a titanium seal and has started sinking.  My MLC might decide to make herself known right about then.  Everyone will then try to abandon ship, of course, because they all have inferior MLCs and are thusly afraid of them, not realizing that my MLC is a master craftsman and does exquisite work and only causes headaches.  Not to say that she can’t give you emotional turmoil or a strong desire for change, but that’s amateurish.  Now then, my MLC and I are now on an abandoned ship that’s sinking.  I think we might have some trouble doing anything with it.  And um…I can’t really remember what we had decided a good plan of action would be.  Maybe I’ll just ask the titanium seals for some help.  They probably don’t like BSB cruises either.  They would probably help us get to shore.  They also probably wouldn’t shoot us after getting us there.  Like I said, I have nothing against seals nor do I have a history of being cruel to animals so they don’t really have much reason to shoot us.

So…yeah.  The end.

Midlife Crisis (Part 2)

I was talking about how midlife crises (MLCs) are popularly considered Bad Things with my MLC and I think I figured some of this out (aside from the “going through” aspect).  It turns out, there are different grades of MLCs.  Some are definitely better than others.  I suspect that the inferior quality MLCs look rather insubstantial and that’s why people are always trying to go through them.  My MLC is of exquisite quality.  She says so herself.  I think I may have to agree.  I mean, my MLC looks very solid to me.  I have never thought about going through my MLC.  I’m pretty sure that’s another reason as to why MLCs are considered Bad Things.

In speaking to my MLC about this, I found out that they are hired out to people.  Obviously, you are paying for quality.  My MLC charges quite a bit for her services.  I think I have a wealthy patron or patroness out there, because I’ve never gotten a bill.  My MLC was vague about this part.  I suppose there’s a confidentiality agreement involved.  It makes sense.  Out of respect, I haven’t pried any further about it.  I might decide to do a bit of investigative snooping later, but I’m far too busy battling the overwhelm (I guess I’ll link to this forever) to do that it right now.

I also suspect that my MLC is a freelance MLC.  I haven’t asked, so I can’t say for certain, but it seems to fit.  She’s probably gotten a lot of experience over the years and has developed a reputation for quality work.  She can probably find clients easily without needing to work for some larger corporation.  In fact, when you develop a reputation for quality works, clients often end up looking for you.  This is not like working for a large corporation at all.  You tend to be nameless in a large corporation and oftentimes, I think that affects the quality of your work.  You indeed have some people who take great pride in their work and give their best all the time, but from what I’ve seen, you have a lot more people who are just warm bodies collecting paychecks.  Those are probably the MLCs that look insubstantial, making you think that you can just go through them, and then it ends up in a big fight with emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change.

There might be amateur MLCs too.  Maybe they’re going through internships?  I’m not sure if they have internships.  Maybe MLCs follow the working structure of yore.  You would have a master craftsman who would take on apprentices.  Apprentices may then go on to become journeymen and eventually get their own workshop and freelance.  There were a lot of apprentices of yore who would complete their apprenticeships but never gain their own workshop though.  I guess that’s where the major corporation comes in.  You know, I think I may have just figured out how this whole thing works.  Apprentices likely get to hone their craft by creating quarter-life crises.  Journeymen and above get to create MLCs.  Journeymen who don’t become master craftsmen and get their own workshops end up working for the major corporation.  I don’t know about three-quarter life crises.  It seems reasonable that only master craftsman get to create those, though.

My MLC has just informed me that she was personally trained by the master of MLCs.  Maybe there’s a master master craftsman out there.  I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Anyway, as part of my MLC’s exquisite work, she provides me with some headaches.  I guess all exquisite work has some side effects?  I don’t know.  From what I’ve been told, the headaches might be the exquisite work itself.  I guess it would be if MLCs are supposed to cause emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change.  I’m largely unaffected by that.  I just get headaches sometimes.  I’m rather glad I have an MLC who is a master craftsman that does such exquisite work that I only get headaches.  Emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change sounds like a big hassle to me.  I’m also rather glad that my MLC and I can be friends.  It’s nice to have friends.

I wonder if there is more than one guild for MLCs…