You may remember that I have a slightly adversarial relationship with fruit trees. This hasn’t changed. But I was content to just let this relationship be what it was. I may not be best of friends with fruit trees but I wasn’t going to go out of my way to antagonize them. The trees apparently don’t feel the same way.
The other day, I came home from work and was taking care of some stuff around the yard in preparation for trash day when I realized that one of the green date trees had decided it would be a good idea to load up only one of its branches with fruit. Just one. Completely covered in fruit. So obviously, the branch snapped and broke off.
Now I have a dead branch covered in almost ripe dates on the floor.
I thought about just throwing everything away as I’m not the hugest fan of green dates or the tree, but I knew my mother would be greatly displeased with such a decision. She highly values her date trees. So I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to pick every single date off the branch and then get rid of the branch.
Now, the thing about the date trees is that they’re covered in thorns. I’ve been stabbed by them before. I try and learn from my mistakes. So this time, I went and donned a pair of leather work gloves before bothering the branch.
The tree was not having any of it. It stabbed me anyway. Through the leather of my gloves. Into my thumb. And then broke tip of the thorn off in my thumb so deep that I haven’t been able to get it out with a needle. I’m not squeamish about digging around in my flesh with a needle either. I have a hole in my thumb now from picking at the area around the thorn with a needle. But you can just barely see the tip of the thorn. I definitely don’t have enough of it to grab with tweezers. Jerk tree.
Looking around online for splinter cures, it looks like maybe an Epsom salt compress might help coax the thorn out far enough so I can grab it. Yay.