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Tag Archives: dogs

I need to think of a good video game title

The other day, I got to thinking…how prevalent is the thought that one’s life is like a video game? You know, how in everyday life you unlock achievements or complete missions when you finish mundane tasks (which actually does happen to me because THEM offers a wellness program that gives me achievements and prizes in relation to things I do to take care of my health). Maybe you also imagine yourself to have a life bar or maybe you take damage in points. Perhaps your whole character has these predefined stats that were rolled out by your parents (or something) before your birth and you’re stuck with things like Social Awkwardness: +10.

And then this got me to thinking about what genre of video game my life would be. Um…it would be the weirdest mashup game ever, I think. It would be a platformer/RPG/simulation/FPS/fighting/action/adventure/survival horror game? I think?

Platformer: I’m thinking of the Mario series mostly. I don’t get cool things like Tanooki suits, but I often imagine I have a timer counting down and I have to get the castle (figurative) in time all the while avoiding obstacles like Goombas (figurative) and bottomless pits (literal) otherwise I’ll die and then the Mario death song will played shortly after my demise. Also, I have to defeat bosses at various milestones to advance in the game. Boss battles also have their own background music. And seriously, Bowser is teh awexome. And I may just have auditory hallucinations.

RPG: I tend to think about character stats and damage in points (but also in terms of life bars). I tend to assign other people points according to how I observe them function in their normal, daily lives.

Simulation: I’m talking mostly about the Sims franchise. I definitely have needs bars. Sometimes when I talk, my speech inadvertently sounds like Simlish. I may just have a speech impediment.  Also, I happen to own a USB flash drive in the shape of a plumb bob.  It normally hangs above my head when I’m working with LeeEv at home.  Because you see…I’m the active character.

FPS: Um…camera angle. Obviously. Sometimes I like to imagine the change equipment sound effect when I grab something. And also unlocking achievements and missions completed. Aside: I prefer to play third person camera angles in actual games. It gives me a point of reference. I’m talking to you Portal-and-your-stupid-falling-levels-through-portals-and-then-having-no-idea-which-way-is-up-so-then-you-have-to-whip-the-mouse-and-thus-camera-around-and-get-totally-dizzy-after-the-fifth-time-you-hurl-yourself-from-the-third-story-through-the-portal-in-the-floor-and-out-the-portal-on-the-sixth-story-wall-and-land-in-a-place-you-don’t-want-to-be. Oh, and in relation to Portal: cake. Also, Portal really is a good game and you should play it.

Fighting: Life bars. And if I could just be cheap and ring out my opponent instead of slogging it through to the bitter end…

Action / Adventure: “Hey, nice hat!” “I predict raining frogs.” “Hera ate all the cows!” Maybe the best action/adventure game ever. EVAR.

Survival horror:  That’s right.  Survival horror.  Like ZOMBIES.  Possibly zombees.  How you ask?  Well, because of this and also this.  Ok…well…kind of.  I’ve actually only played most of the first mission from the first link because I only downloaded the trial version of the app.  I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to blow 8$ on an app.  I’m actually still not sure.  I’m also dumb because I missed the sale when it was only 2-3$.  And as for the second one…I haven’t actually participated in one of these.  The plan was to do so, but I was working 80 hour weeks at Company for months on end and…that’s not conducive to going out for runs or training for other kinds of zombie survival tactics.

So anyway, while I might make preparations for a zombie apocalypse, I do realize that one hasn’t actually happened…and I don’t really go around my daily life carrying a shotgun (super important for zombie survival, you guys) or looking for antidotes or planting interesting plants around my house and atop my roof (ok, ok, this last one was a tower defense game and not survival horror).

Btw, also important for zombie survival are German shepherd dogs. Make note of that.

A horse is a horse, of course, of course

Hey, I found this!  I’m fond of this story, so here’s a reposting (from a previous blog)!  Also, the dog in question is Choco.  Yaris wasn’t around yet.

We recently remodeled the front yard so that half of it is walled off from the street. My mother then proceeded to plant flowers and such along the inside of the wall, facing the house, as one of her hobbies is gardening. Since the front yard is walled, I felt ok about letting the dog run out there sometimes. It’s not like she can do much damage in our own yard. That apparently is untrue. You see, my dog is secretly a horse.

The first time I let her out in the front yard, she was quite happy, as she didn’t used to get to play in the front of the house that often. So she went exploring, as dogs do, and went over to sniff at the flowers my mother had planted. I wasn’t paying that much attention to her, but out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw her try to take a bite out of one of the blossoms.

Wait…what? By the time I had fully focused on her, she had already wandered off and was exploring other parts of the yard. I figured I was just seeing things as it didn’t look like any of the flowers were missing. At any rate, I shooed her inside and that was the end of it.

But this continued to happen when I would let my dog into the front yard. It would always seem like she was taking bites out of the flowers out of the corner of my eye and I was never quite fast enough to actually catch her in the act. The flowers never seemed to diminish in number, so I always thought I was just imagining things.

Finally, I decided I would just watch her the entire time she was out in the front yard. I mean, seriously, am I always imagining my dog eating flowers in the front yard? How ridiculous is that? She’s not a horse. Why would she be interested in flowers? So, I let the dog out into the front yard again. She again went exploring to see what might have changed from the last time she was out there. She paused by the flowers, this time by the tree in the middle of the yard, and then she proceeded to eat one of the blossoms and ran off.

Wait…what? She really ate one of the flowers! Moderately horrified at what my dog horse had done, I shooed her back inside the house and made sure my mother hadn’t seen what had happened. If she would ask, I would just blame the rabbits. I would hide the identity crisis my dog was having to try and spare her the shame and ridicule.

Since that incident, my dog hasn’t really been too interested in the flowers in the front yard when she’s out there. She seems much more interested in trying to open the gate to run out toward the street and play. I thought maybe she’s realized she is a dog after all. Until I caught her taking furtive bites out of the leafy tops of the vegetables my mother grows in the backyard. Sugh.