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Tag Archives: grammar

Recently, I’ve been noticing a lot of grammatical errors in publications.  Places where you would think there wouldn’t be grammatical errors.  Or at least, big ones.

The most recent one invovles some KitchenAid documentation.  I think a warranty notice or something.

If you reside in the 50 United States…

If you reside in the 50 United States?  Wait.  There’s more than one country called the United States?  And apparently you have to be a resident of all 50 of them?  So, it’s like a case of dual citizenship, but times 25?  Well, it doesn’t say you have to be a citizen of the country.  Just a resident.  I guess that’s not too bad.

But what would you call being a citizen of 50 different countries anyway?  Being a citizen of two different countries is called “dual citizenship.”  Well, the citizenship part can stay the same, but how about something called 50?  Well, the prefix meaning “five” is “penta-” and “ten” is “deca-.”  I don’t think there’s anything specifically for 50.  So I guess it’s pentadecasomething citizenship.  What would be the proper ending though? I guess I could just use the standard “-ple.”  So, it would be pentadecaple citizenship.

That’s…pretty hard.  Especially since at least one of the United States has that rule about giving up citizenship to other countries when you become a citizen of the United States.  Well, I guess you don’t really have to give up the citizenship of the other countries.  The US just won’t recognize it.  I wonder how that works with extradition treaties.

Btw, isn’t it really confusing to have several countries with all the same name?  I mean, how do you address things?  What about country codes?  The US I live in has the country code of 1.  What about the others?  And how would you designate that on paper?  The country code of United States XII?  You want to send this package to the United States L?  This is so confusing.

Note: This is not the post I was originally going to put up on Monday until the dogs ruined everything with their antics.  This is entirely different and gets to go up now because it contains such important information.  Also, I’m just going to count Monday’s post as this week’s crafty entry.  So you get some deep (read: ridiculous) thoughts instead.

I was recently pondering the relationship between finishing all your soup and Captain Planet when it dawned on me the cause of our ailing environment.  You may wonder how soup and the environment are related.  Allow me to explain.

First off, I will say that heart is overarching factor in all of this.  Keep this in mind.  It’s important.

Ok, about soup.  The other day, my friend was at our house eating hotpot.  She decided to end her meal with some soup.  Unfortunately, she misjudged the amount of room left in her stomach for soup and finished about half her soup before realizing that she was really full.  Well, like a good friend, I encouraged her to finish her soup.  You should finish what you have, after all.  I’m sure most everyone has been guilt tripped into finishing their food because of the starving children in Africa (there really are starving children there), that I thought perhaps she’d have been desensitized to it.  So I used a different method.  I told her that good soups are made by mothers and grandmothers with a lot if heart (machines do not make soup with heart, so it’s ok if you don’t finish or even buy those.  Male chefs can make good soups but they have to first go through a course on heart and not all of them can pass because they are at a disadvantage of being male and thus being neither a mother nor grandmother).  If you don’t finish it, you personally are causing some kind of ruin to the environment because the extra heart that went into making the soup has prevented Captain Planet from being summoned to right some environmental ills as everyone knows that a key component of Captain Planet is heart.  It’s like you’re willfully trying to destroy the environment.  Anyway, she finished her soup.

Afterwards, I was thinking at how sickly the environment has become what with global warming and the hole in the ozone layer and the poor air quality in a lot of places and the North Atlantic and Great Pacific garbage patches, etc.  This is more damage than can be attributed to just people not finishing their soup.  I was also thinking about how prevalent hearts are in today’s popular culture (e.g. I <3 NY, girls of all ages using “heart” instead of “love” or “totes like”).  That’s when it dawned upon me that Captain Planet can NEVER BE SUMMONED because popular culture has stolen all the heart!  Popular culture is what is ruining our environment because Captain Planet can never be summoned to battle things like global warming and pollution and the hole in the ozone layer!  If there were ever a reason to stop using “heart” instead of “love” or whatever other word implying a strong affection toward something, this is it.  Think of the environment!  It’s but a small change that has a big impact!  Finishing your soup is only the beginning.

By the way, this has nothing to do with how I find people replacing another word with “heart” to be really annoying.  Not at all.