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Tag Archives: the ridiculous

Plasma TVs

Let’s talk about plasma TVs.  Or rather, let’s talk about plasma and then apply what we know about plasma to TVs.

plas·ma

noun \ˈplaz-mə\

: the watery part of blood that contains blood cells
: a substance that is similar to a gas but that can carry electricity

Think about that for a moment.  Plasma refers to the watery part of blood.

Aside, I am considered a universal donor for plasma because I have blood type AB+ (the fact that I am Rh+ doesn’t really matter with plasma donation actually, if you’re AB- you’re also considered a universal donor for plasma).  End aside.

Plasma can also refer to one of the four fundamental states of matter (the other three being solid, liquid, and gas).  The first three states of matter are easy enough to comprehend, we encounter these states regularly in our daily lives.  Want ice in your water?  Hey, that’s two states right there!  Burned by the steam when you foolishly decided to pry apart your pressure cooker?  There’s another state of matter!  Also, that was incredibly stupid.  There’s a release valve on your pressure cooker for a reason.  Learn to use it.

That fourth state of matter, plasma, is also crucial to our day to day living.  You might know it as the sun.  The sun consists mainly of plasma, i.e. this superheated gas wherein the molecules ionize.  So while plasma might be somewhat similar to the gaseous state, it has the extra fun times of responding to a magnetic field where it might do interesting stuff.

Now that we know a little about plasma, let’s think about plasma TVs.

Plamsa TVs are called such for a reason, right?  Surely they have something to do with plasma.  What if plasma TVs have to do with bodily fluids?  What if the Red Cross isn’t collecting your plasma for cancer and burn patients or even for vampires who (that?) are on diets but instead for the manufacture of plasma TVs?  Wouldn’t that be interesting?  And if you have a plasma TV, wouldn’t it be interesting to know that when you decide to get rid of it, you’d have to label it as medical waste?

Or what if plasma TVs involved energies like what are found on the sun?  Think about the power draw your plasma TV needs.  Maybe those dead pixels you see are really sun spots.  What if you get plasma arches?  That would be really interesting.  It’s 3D television!  Huzzah!

But actually, I looked up plasma TVs and here’s the definition…

: a type of visual display for computers, televisions, etc., that uses plasma with electrical charges between two sheets of glass and that produces pictures that are very clear and bright

So I only mentioned the sun early as an example of where you’d find plasma, the fourth state of matter.  But actually, you don’t need to look so far off.  Your average neon lights and even fluorescent lights are examples of plasma.  They work because whatever gas is trapped in the tube is ionized which then gives off a glow.  Gas.  Ionized.  Plasma.

Plasma TVs are made up of thousands of these tiny, tiny fluorescent bulbs.  It’s interesting…just not as interesting as a blood plasma TV.

Now…how about plasma rifles…?

PSA: Aspirin != Gauze

AG1

Have you ever experienced clotting issues after a major dental procedure?  Would the gaping hole in your mouth where a tooth previous occupied constantly ooze blood despite your attempts to staunch the bleeding?

AG2

Would blood then constantly dribble down your chin while you shambled around (because you were drowsy from the anesthesia) with your mouth open (because your mouth was still numb and you couldn’t feel your mouth was open) thus making you look like a well-dressed zombie?

AG3

Well, STOP USING ASPIRIN TABLETS AS GAUZE.

I know the two are easily confused, but I’m here to tell you that aspirin and gauze are not interchangeable. Aspirin will not staunch any bleeding. In fact, it will more than likely prevent proper clotting and prolong your bleeding. Do not use aspirin to try and staunch your bleeding.

AG4

Also, do not attempt to take gauze to relieve minor aches and pains and reduce fever. Gauze is not aspirin and does not have analgesic, anti-inflammatory, and antipyretic properities. Gauze should be used to pack wounds to help stop bleeding while not sticking to the wound. Injesting gauze will not help with your headache or fever. Gauze is not digestable and if it lodges in your GI tract, it may cause sepsis. Do not use gauze to relieve minor aches and pains and reduce fever.

This has been a public service announcement against the confusion of aspirin and gauze. This public service announcement is brought to you by ridiculous conversations between Mr. Arachnid and me.