Skip navigation

Tag Archives: the ridiculous

Hilariously incorrect conclusions: The circus

As a child, it’s really easy to complete a perfectly logical train of thought and arrive at completely the wrong conclusion because a child just doesn’t have enough life experience to know how things work.  It’s a common phenomenon.  This American Life did a whole program dedicated to kid logic.

I find kid logic to be absolutely hilarious.  It’s so logical, even to the very end.  It’s just that the conclusion is completely and often hilariously incorrect.

When I was little, I heard a lot about the circus.  I really liked watching Disney’s Dumbo.  I didn’t particularly like the pink elephants and I didn’t believe that elephants could fly, but the circus seemed so wonderful.  Some of my friends would go to the circus and tell me about it.  There would be huge tents—striped of course, I had noted all the details about circuses in Dumbo—and animals, and trapeze artists, and people on stilts, and maybe a cannon that would shoot out people.  I really wanted to see the circus.

Around the same time, I had more or less outgrown the height limit for ball pits and most bouncy castles (I was a tall kid).  I really liked ball pits and bouncy castles and I was terribly sad that I couldn’t go into most of them.  Some of my friends would also tell me that they would go to birthday parties where the parents would rent a bouncy castle and they would have great fun all afternoon.  I would be really envious that their friends were not also my friends so that I could be invited to bouncy castle birthday parties.

Not long after that, I would see certain houses in my neighborhood would be covered in tent-like material and that the material would often be striped.  It made the house look like a giant tent.  And I would be so jealous.  Because obviously, the person who lived at that house was having a birthday party and they were celebrating by inviting the entire circus to perform at their house, because if you can rent a bouncy castle for an afternoon, you can obviously rent a circus for several days.  So obvious.

No, I don’t see how termites are relevant.  Why?

This is why we can’t have fun things, guys

Yes, I know there should be a random doodle or something today but I’ve decided to post a link to this story instead.  Did you read it?

I AM SO ANNOYED.

You’ll remember that I’ve mentioned rare-earth magnets before and why I was so irritated with parents and their small children playing with the magnets and subsequently swallowing them.  So…you can imagine how I feel about A TEENAGER doing the same thing.

WHY IS A TEENAGER PUTTING RARE-EARTH MAGNETS IN HER MOUTH AND THEN SWALLOWING THEM??  To her credit, she said that it was a “stupid kid moment” and didn’t try and give some lame excuse as to why it was acceptable for her to swallow the magnets.  But still.  SHE IS NOT A TODDLER.

She also knew of the dangers of swallowing the magnets and she still put them in her mouth.  I can understand that she didn’t want to put them on the floor of the bathroom, but THEY’RE MAGNETS.  She could have stuck on her shirt.  They’re rare-earth magnets.  They’re incredibly strong.  They would have held together on her shirt.  WHY DID SHE PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH?  She could have put them in her pocket.  She could have even wrapped them in paper and put them by the sink.  Any of these things would have been acceptable.  Yet SHE PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH AND THEN SWALLOWED THEM.

She also decided to report her story to the media in order to alert parents and other children of the dangers of swallowing the magnets.  Ok, that was nice of her.  BUT WHY WAS SHE SWALLOWING MAGNETS TO BEGIN WITH?!  Younger children are known to put things in their mouth.  It’s part of their way of exploring the world.  It’s a known thing and it’s also why Buckyballs and related came with strong warnings against allowing younger children to play with them.

Why can’t parents have some common sense?  If there are 1o328u12o3 warnings on a product not to give them to small children, don’t you think you should at least investigate why the warnings are there before disregarding them?  Not all children have a fascination with putting things in their mouth.  I get that.  Maybe it would be ok if they played with the magnets.  Most children are not like that.  Parents probably already know their children’s typical behavior.  If they already have ample evidence that their children like to put things in their mouth, WHY ARE THEY GIVING THEIR CHILDREN SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH THAT IS POTENTIALLY FATAL TO THEM?  And then suing.  Yes.  Please to blame someone else for your own stupidity.

GAH.  I AM SO ANNOYED.