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Tag Archives: work

On greetings

I claimed “greetings” as my salutation, both written and verbal, of choice back in high school.  It was just something I did to be ornery because I was bored with the typical “hello” and “hi” and “sup.”  I kept it because I came to like it and having a default salutation meant I didn’t have to think of an appropriate one when presented with a circumstance in which I have to greet someone.  But it’s only recently that I’ve come to realize how much other people pick up on the fact that I say it, or perhaps more so, when I don’t say it.  A-pusher confirmed that too.  She’s noticed that people ALWAYS say something when they catch me not saying “greetings.”

At clic, where I am currently working, several of the employees on the client side take great pleasure in catching me when I don’t say “greetings” to them in the morning.  It happens.  I don’t ALWAYS say “greetings.”  I just say it the overwhelming majority of the time.  One of the employees, whom I will refer to as FD, once kept saying “good morning” to me because I didn’t say “greetings” in return.  In fact, I didn’t until he specifically asked me to say it.  I have the bad habit to respond to “good morning” with a very snarky “yes, it is morning.”  He apparently really just wanted to hear me say “greetings” though.  To the point where he asked me to say it.

At clib, there were several contractors with whom I worked who also were greatly entertained by my salutation of choice.  One would also wait for me to say “greetings” then he could then very grandiosely reply “SALUTATIONS!!”  One of my fellow THEM colleagues working with me at clib would also let me know “I have greetings!” every time he received an email from me.  Another of the clib employees would just beam when I said greetings.  It was…a little disconcerting.

I guess I’m stuck now.  I have to say “greetings” for the rest of my life.  I’m known as that greetings girl now.  Forever.  For-EVAR.

I don’t really mind.  Because like I said, I like having the default.

1sup

supped sup·ping

Definition of SUP

transitive verb

:  to take or drink in swallows or gulps
intransitive verb
chiefly dialect :  to take food and especially liquid food into the mouth a little at a time

Why idiots often rise to the top

Guys.  I think I’ve inadvertently stumbled upon why the phenomenon of how idiots (as opposed to someone more qualified) are often found in positions of power occurs.  (I’m thinking of you certain possible GOP presidential candidate, certain former Venezuelan president, certain former Afghani president, a whole slew of former Taiwanese presidents, certain managers I’ve had the pleasure of witnessing in the act of managing, etc.)  Wanna know, wanna know??

Ahem…it’s because idiots are less dense than the surrounding matter and therefore, they will rise to the top (this totally needs to be on a shirt or a poster or something).

TADA!!  Makes so much sense, doesn’t it?

Think about it, say in a sea of normal, everyday employees, somehow the one with the least common sense and often the least courtesy toward fellow employees, the least idea about how a project should be managed, the least technical knowledge, the biggest ego, the most insecure, etc is somehow the one to be promoted to a management position.  Why?  Because everyone else with common sense is weighed down by their common sense (and technical knowledge and common courtesy).  The idiot managers don’t have (much) of that stuff, so they are relatively less dense and they rise to the top.

Have you ever thought about the expression “filled with hot air”?  I would argue that the idiot managers also tend to be filled with hot air.  Gasses at warmer temperatures are less dense than gasses at lower temperatures.  So again, idiots are less dense than the surrounding matter and therefore can rise to the top.

But what of the rare non-idiot manager, you ask.  Yes.  Those do exist.  I have worked for a few of them.  And well…you can get a metal pin to float on water.  Metal is denser than water so you wouldn’t think that would be possible.  But surface tension!  It’s probably surface tension that allows these rare non-idiot managers to achieve their management positions.  I guess the surface tension is all the employees with sense who like to work with caring, good managers.

The problem with this is that if you disturb the surface tension the pin sinks as you would expect it to.  I’ve unfortunately seen this with good managers too.  I guess they’re just too full of common sense (technical knowledge, common courtesy, actual care for their people, etc) to stay afloat.  It’s…so sad.