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Tag Archives: zombies

Zombee apocalypse! Zombee apocalypse!!

Yes, zombee.  Yes, I did spell that correctly.  For I talk of zombified bees.  A zombee.

Here, read this.

Honeybees have been dying off for awhile now and there have been a lot of theories as to why that’s been happening.  Well, here’s another one.  They’re becoming zombies.  Or zombees.

Honeybees have been observed behaving in weird, zombie-like ways, like wandering off at night and walking around in circles (and crawling into people’s ears to get at their brains…ok, not really).  The reason for this is because of…A PARASITE!  Yes, it’s another one of those zombifying parasites.  I would link you to all the other posts I’ve written about zombifying parasites, but I’m too lazy to look through my archives right now.  But if you click on the “zombies” tag, you’ll probably find a fair amount of them.

Interestingly enough, no one has observed this particular fly attacking honeybees before and it is likely part of the cause of the mass bee die-offs.  So then, scientists need your help to study the zombees and they are enlisting the whole of the US to aid them!

There is a citizen science project over at zombeewatch.org where you can join said project and collect (dead or dying) honeybees for observation.  After you gather all these honeybees, you just need to observe them from time to time to see if any fly pupae hatch from those bees.  You report your findings to the site and a TEAM OF SCIENTISTS can sort through the data you have collected and get to sciencing (which I assume is their superpower).

It sounds pretty interesting and I’ve found some bees wandering around my yard at night recently.  They say that parasitism in California starts in June and peaks in fall to winter.  I guess this is prime time for me to be out collecting and observing bees.  Maybe I will.  Maybe you should too.  And together, we can stave off the zombee apocalypse (which really would be a good thing, not just for our brains, but for all the crops that depend on pollination by honeybee, nod).

Zombie George Washington

More zombies.  Yes.

Have you read this?  It’s from awhile ago, but it’s interesting.

Let’s speculate what would have happened if George Washington really were brought back to life as a zombie.

What if…we got rid of the two term rule on holding the presidency and George Washington got to hold the position for life?  Or…afterlife, in this case?  He was pretty well liked, wasn’t he?  I mean, I only know from history books and children’s stories, you know…with cherry trees and honesty.  Seems like he was a pretty decent guy.  Maybe some of that would have stayed with him when he was a zombie.  I mean, they were basically going to give him a lamb’s blood transfusion.  It’s not like a T-virus infection or something.  There isn’t a good reason to believe that he’d become one of those mindless brain-eating zombies.  Which of course means that he may not be that zombie-like after all.  BUT ANYWAY.

What if he were president for life?  He’d be Zombie President George Washington.  And you know what happens with people who are in power for a long time, right?  They get corrupted.  There’s also no reason to think that zombie George Washington, hereafter referred to as ZGW, wouldn’t be the same.  Even if he were really honest as a child.  It might take longer for him to get corrupted, but he’s got the rest of forever to be corrupted.

So then, the US would be ruled by a zombie dictator.  Maybe he’d be a benevolent dictator.  But he’d still be a dictator.  One thing I’ve noticed about dictatorships is that the economy of that country inevitably goes to shambles.  Not that our economy is really that much better right now, but that’s not the point.  We don’t have the sky-high inflation that the Zimbabweans had.  We don’t have the majority of the population groveling in poverty…yet.  I should stop doing that.  This post isn’t about criticizing our economy.  It’s about what would it be like if we had a zombie president dictator.

So.  President ZGW.  Right?  Dictatorships often unravel because of civil unrest.  Dictators sometimes get assassinated.  That wouldn’t really work.  I mean, ZGW is already dead.  How else do you get rid of dictators?  I suppose if you can convince some people to help you, you could capture the dictator and then put him on trial.  I’m not sure of ZGW would have planned for something like that beforehand though.  He was a general.  I would think that the military would be loyal to him.  Can’t count on the army to help the general population.  Would other countries be willing to help?  It seems that these days, most countries are pretty standoffish about getting deeply involved in other’s politics.  They only make snide remarks on the side.  Hmm…

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing we don’t have President Dictator ZGW.  His family was really nice and let him rest in peace.  So nice…