Skip navigation

Tag Archives: zombies

Where did the zombie stomach go?

I may have mentioned the zombie stomach in previous posts (yes, two different links).  However, looking back, I don’t think I even explained where the idea of a zombie stomach came from.  Well, I assure you, the zombie stomach is not a mere idea.  It’s a real thing.  It belongs to my friend, Sheri, as you can see in this post.

If you read the post, you can see that the zombie stomach is to help keep her abnormal, hypergrowth organs in check.  But I’ve noticed that the zombie stomach likes a little variety sometimes and Sheri is inexplicably able to give me her zombie stomach to babysit (zombiesit?).

Ok…fine.  But the problem is, I don’t have weird, hypergrowth organs.  So, in order to keep the zombie stomach from reaching my brains, I have to feed it.  A lot.  (In order to weigh it down, you see.  It can’t possibly eat all of my organs to my brain if it’s constantly weighed down by food.)  This takes a lot of time and effort and I really prefer not to be bothered.  I like my nice, normal, low maintenance stomach just fine (I’m not really sure where it goes.  It may just cower in the corner when the zombie stomach is over to play.)

But just recently, we lost track of the zombie stomach.  Sheri was not did not experience her organ chewing hunger pangs and neither was I eating voraciously at every opportunity.  The zombie stomach went missing.  We suspect that it’s off pouting because it wasn’t getting any attention.  The zombie stomach may be an adolescent stomach.  You know how moody and pouty teenagers can be.

Kind of like this.

I guess when it pouts itself out, it’ll come back.

I refuse to babysit it anymore, though.

Did you want to read the conversation that inspired this post?

Moosterkey: Where is your zombie stomach anyway?
…
Moosterkey: I don’t have it.
cherriebb515: I don’t have it either.
…
cherriebb515: I dunno.
cherriebb515: Maybe it took a walk.
Moosterkey: hahahah
Moosterkey: Pouting?
cherriebb515: Put off.
cherriebb515: No one wants to feed it.
Moosterkey: hahaha.
Moosterkey: It’s probably walking with its arms crossed.
cherriebb515: Stomping perhaps?
Moosterkey: With one of those anime scribbly clouds over his head.
Moosterkey: Stomping.
Moosterkey: And kicking a can.
Moosterkey: Muttering.
Moosterkey: And there’s a small raincloud over its head following it along.
Moosterkey: I wonder if I can draw this.

It occurs to me that I forgot to draw the can.  Oh well.

Now with 100% less fake butter!

I’m really tired right now and I’m not up to thinking my way through a post.  So…you get this instead.  This is how I make microwave popcorn.  I’m posting this because…I’m making popcorn right now.  I have the sneaky suspicion that my friend infected me with her zombie stomach, as I have been SO. HUNGRY. the last couple of days.  It’s really annoying.  Anyway, I’m trying to use popcorn to quieten up my stomach.

Now then, I like popcorn.  I like making popcorn in the microwave.  I like making it on the stove or over a campfire too, but that takes more time.  Microwave popcorn is much more convenient.  But, I don’t like fake butter and I generally don’t like the giant portion of popcorn you end up getting from those prepackaged things.  What if you’re the only one who wants popcorn?  What if you don’t want to eat a whole bag?  What do you do with the rest?  Stale popcorn doesn’t really taste that good.  One of my roommates in college (check out her blog, she takes some rather nice photos) did find out that you can keep popcorn from going stale if you store the leftovers in the fridge.  The next time you take it out, it’s still crisp.  But…then you’re eating cold popcorn and not everyone likes that.

I get around all that by making my own microwave popcorn.  All you really need are popcorn kernels, which are cheaper to buy than the prepackaged stuff, a paper lunch bag, a microwave, and some seasoning.  I often will add in a bit of oil as well, because I’ve found that it makes the seasoning stick to your popcorn better and that you have less unpopped kernels after microwaving.  This way, you can make whatever flavor popcorn you like and as much or as little as you want to eat.  And you don’t have to fill your house with the aroma of fake butter, which I really dislike (it probably belongs in Fake England).  The procedure below will give you about four cups of popped corn.

Materials:

  • a lunch bag
  • 1/4 cup popcorn kernels
  • a few shakes of season salt (I like it because it’s salty and paprika-y, but use whatever you like)
  • 1 tsp oil (generally I prefer to use olive or grape seed, but canola works just fine too) – optional

Procedure:

  1. Dump the kernels in the lunch bag.
  2. Pour the oil over the kernels and shake the bag to coat.  Note: the bag will get oily, so I normally put it on a plate to microwave.  You don’t have to use oil at all, if you don’t want.  The kernels will still pop.  I just find that not as many of them do per given period of time.  I’ve also done this with butter, but unless you melt it first, it doesn’t really give you very good results.
  3. Sprinkle the season salt over the kernels and shake the bag to coat.
  4. Fold the top of the bag over twice to seal the bag, leaving a goodly sized chamber inside.  Some people use a staple to keep the fold in place, but I don’t find it necessary.  And yes, you can microwave a single staple.  It’s not big enough to do damage.
  5. Microwave on high until there is about 1-2 seconds between pops.  It’s about 3.5 min on my microwave.
  6. Tada!  Popcorn!

Now you can quieten up your stomach.