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midlife crisis (noun)

: a period of emotional turmoil in middle age characterized especially by a strong desire for change

Definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster

Not many of you may know, but I have a midlife crisis (MLC).  You read correctly, I have an MLC.  I’m not going through one.  I mean, you can see from the definition above that an MLC is a noun.  You can have nouns, you know.  So, as I was saying, I have an MLC.

I’m not even sure if I would be considered “midlife” or “middle aged.”  I’m probably closer to quarter aged, hard to tell since you don’t have an expiration date.  But if you hear me talk sometimes, you might believe that I was really three-quarter life (three-quarter aged?) or something (I shall leave this statement purposely ambiguous).  Do people have three-quarter life crises?  I know fresh college grads sometimes have quarter life crises.  It would make sense that there would be a three-quarter life crises.  I’m not sure though.  I don’t know about that “emotional turmoil either” or the “strong desire for change.”  I generally am not a very extreme person and those sound like extreme things.  I figure subtlety is better at getting me me what I want than outright extremity.

Anyway, also different from what I popularly see and hear of midlife crises: my midlife crisis is something of a friend.  We get along quite well.  We do things together all the time.  Sometimes, we even have to battle the overwhelm together.  You need to be pretty careful about the overwhelm.  It may help if you have someone battling it along with you.  So anyway, I don’t really understand why an MLC is always depicted as a Bad Thing and people make fun of people going through MLCs and there is always much despair and whining.

Hmm…maybe the “going through” an MLC is the problem.  If more people were friends with their MLCs and just had one instead of going through it, maybe MLCs wouldn’t be considered a Bad Thing anymore.  I mean, if someone were always trying to go through you, wouldn’t that make you annoyed?

You:  I am going to go right through you!
MLC:  You’re stupid!  We’re both solid objects!  Solid objects can’t go through each other!
You:  (charge and tackle MLC)
Both fall on the floor; there is much biting, kicking, punching, and screaming is heard.
MLC: (shrieking) You’re stupid!  You’re stupid!  I’m going to curse you with so much emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change!!

I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening to people trying to make it through their MLC.  So really, the MLC is wrongly being accused of being a Bad Thing.  It’s really your fault for being so dumb and not learning your sciences well.  Obviously two solid objects aren’t going to make it through each other.  There’s too much mass localized in one area.  My MLC and I don’t act like that at all.  Sometimes we go on adventures together.  People should act more like us.

Maybe…I’ll do some research and conduct an experiment.  Human experiments take a really long time though and I’d have to track this through generations to see a meaningful trend.  I wonder if fruit flies have MLCs.  Maybe my MLC will know.  I think I’ll ask.

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2 Comments

  1. I’m glad we don’t fight. It really wouldn’t be a fair fight, anyways. You’re so much bigger than I am, and your arms are apparently so very, very long. And then I would have to curse you extra hard. And neither of us would be very happy at all.

    • I think I would have too much emotional turmoil and a desire for change to be happy.


5 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. […] was talking about how midlife crises (MLCs) are popularly considered Bad Things with my MLC and I think I figured some of this out (aside from the “going through” aspect).  It […]

  2. […] finally, the last part on my series of posts detailing midlife crises […]

  3. […] a guest post!  Today’s post is written by my good friend and MLC, Sheri (see here, here, and also here for details), and she is obviously a trustworthy and reliable source for all […]

  4. By I’m So Done! « Life's Homilies on 31 Aug 2011 at 10:17 pm

    […] the overwhelm wasn’t as bad this time, and not anywhere close to other people’s MLC’s that they attempt to go through, packing and moving has–undeniably–taken up most of my […]

  5. By Engineeringoma « Random moosages as I see fit. on 12 Sep 2011 at 12:10 pm

    […] he told me that, suddenly it was all clear.  I used to get headaches (this was pre-MLC) sometimes.  They were probably one of the symptoms of the growth getting bigger and […]

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