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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Wisconsin…land of waterslides

I’m shipping out to Wisconsin soon for work.  No, no, nothing permanent.  At least, I hope not.  But circumstances are that we have to do a lot of our final testing in Wisconsin and I think I’ll be there for awhile.  Management seems to be terribly optimistic about how much we can get done in a day.  TERRIBLY.

Anyway, I took a look at the city where we’re supposedly staying, which is not the same place where we’re working, because where we’re working apparently is smack in the middle of nowhere where they cannot be bothered to put hotels.  We’ll supposedly be staying in Wisconsin Dells.  I took a look and it looks like the land of waterslides.  I have decided the entirety of Wisconsin must be like this.  I’m sure their road systems are really just long waterslides.  They don’t have cars.  They have mats, which you lay on, and then you push and slide all the way to your destination.  I’m pretty sure of this.  I’ll be disappointed if it’s not like this.  (Not really, because it would be really difficult to carry tools and stuff with us and you’d arrive at your destination sopping wet and then you’d have to work like that and I don’t think that would be comfortable AT. ALL.  Yes.  Run on sentences.  And fragments.)

Zombie George Washington

More zombies.  Yes.

Have you read this?  It’s from awhile ago, but it’s interesting.

Let’s speculate what would have happened if George Washington really were brought back to life as a zombie.

What if…we got rid of the two term rule on holding the presidency and George Washington got to hold the position for life?  Or…afterlife, in this case?  He was pretty well liked, wasn’t he?  I mean, I only know from history books and children’s stories, you know…with cherry trees and honesty.  Seems like he was a pretty decent guy.  Maybe some of that would have stayed with him when he was a zombie.  I mean, they were basically going to give him a lamb’s blood transfusion.  It’s not like a T-virus infection or something.  There isn’t a good reason to believe that he’d become one of those mindless brain-eating zombies.  Which of course means that he may not be that zombie-like after all.  BUT ANYWAY.

What if he were president for life?  He’d be Zombie President George Washington.  And you know what happens with people who are in power for a long time, right?  They get corrupted.  There’s also no reason to think that zombie George Washington, hereafter referred to as ZGW, wouldn’t be the same.  Even if he were really honest as a child.  It might take longer for him to get corrupted, but he’s got the rest of forever to be corrupted.

So then, the US would be ruled by a zombie dictator.  Maybe he’d be a benevolent dictator.  But he’d still be a dictator.  One thing I’ve noticed about dictatorships is that the economy of that country inevitably goes to shambles.  Not that our economy is really that much better right now, but that’s not the point.  We don’t have the sky-high inflation that the Zimbabweans had.  We don’t have the majority of the population groveling in poverty…yet.  I should stop doing that.  This post isn’t about criticizing our economy.  It’s about what would it be like if we had a zombie president dictator.

So.  President ZGW.  Right?  Dictatorships often unravel because of civil unrest.  Dictators sometimes get assassinated.  That wouldn’t really work.  I mean, ZGW is already dead.  How else do you get rid of dictators?  I suppose if you can convince some people to help you, you could capture the dictator and then put him on trial.  I’m not sure of ZGW would have planned for something like that beforehand though.  He was a general.  I would think that the military would be loyal to him.  Can’t count on the army to help the general population.  Would other countries be willing to help?  It seems that these days, most countries are pretty standoffish about getting deeply involved in other’s politics.  They only make snide remarks on the side.  Hmm…

Anyway, it’s probably a good thing we don’t have President Dictator ZGW.  His family was really nice and let him rest in peace.  So nice…