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Category Archives: ponderings

In which Yaris considers a new career or, chickens are dumb

Chickens are dumb.

There have been a few occasions in which the chickens escaped their pen (they are no longer allowed to roam the entire backyard freely, only part of it). Of course, this always happens when I’m really busy or about to leave the house. I’ll be minding my own business when suddenly, I notice there is unexpected movement in the backyard. And then I’ll see that there are a bunch of chickens merrily wreaking havoc on the newly planted spring/summer garden.

In case you weren’t aware, when chickens are allowed to roam freely, they’ll eat basically anything that’s green in the yard. This seriously gets in the way of a spring/summer harvest. The other thing they like to do is to dig large holes in search of…things to eat, I assume. The chickens really like to dig holes. They’re worse than Yaris. Yaris hasn’t dug a trench in a really long time. And the last time she was digging a hole, I think she was trying to catch a gopher. So obviously, the chickens cannot be allowed to roam the planted areas freely.

Anyway, the chickens are out running around, wreaking havoc. I have to go out there and round them all up and dump them back in the pen. Well, first, I have to fix the pen and then round them up. Fixing hasn’t really been an issue. It’s really just someone (and I won’t name who) never latches the door correctly and the chickens are able to push the door open and run out. It’s really annoying. How long does it take to check if the door is latched properly? Like…none at all. BUT I DIGRESS.

Now then, rounding up chickens can be hard work. They like to be able to run freely through the yard and dig holes everywhere. They also can move pretty easily up the slope we have the in the backyard and I cannot. There’s too much brush and I’d probably trip and fall and bounce down the slope and break my neck.

But Yaris has been a great help in rounding up the chickens. She actually will herd them for me and then chase them back to the pen where I can pick them up and dump them in. I think Yaris might be considering a career in chicken herding. I realize that she’s suppose to herd sheep as she is a German shepherd dog, but…I don’t think she’s ever seen a sheep. Being a German chickenherd dog might be a promising career for Yaris though. Especially since she isn’t really cut out for the military.

If she does decide to be a chickenherd, she’ll have to work on her slope skills though. I have to help her up on to the slope (she can’t navigate over the retaining wall too well) and she doesn’t really seem to have an interest in climbing the slope. And of course all the chickens are at the highest point on the slope. Of course.

Now then, remember how I said chickens are dumb? They are. You see, I have found that you can rush up behind them and instead of running away, they squat and spread their wings a little bit. This makes it really easy to pick them up. Of course, if you pick them up, you should do so while tucking their wings in place so that they don’t flap all over the place. Chicken wings are ridiculous and small and not really good for flight at all, but they are still covered in feathers and parts of those feathers are stiff enough to scratch up your hands. It’s not a big deal, but the scratches end up itching as they heal. I have never been a fan of itching.

But seriously, squatting and spreading your wings? How does that help you at all? It’s just…so dumb…

America runs on Dunkin’

You probably recognize that line.  It’s the Dunkin’ Donuts tagline.  Recently, there was an attempted robbery at a Dunkin’ Donuts location where the employee successfully fended off the robbery by throwing hot coffee into the would-be robber’s face.  And as he was running away, she said “Go run on Dunkin’.”  That.  Is.  Awexome.  Go read the article; it’s linked up there.

Now then, I’m pretty entertained by dumb criminal stories and the guy trying to rob the Dunkin’ in this story definitely falls into the dumb criminal category.  The article states that the guy first asked for change for 100$ going through the drive through at 23:06.  When the employee refused, he tried to rob her through the drive-through window.  The employee threw hot coffee at him and then he ran back to his truck and drove off.

Let’s think about this.

  1. Guy decides rob a Dunkin’ Donuts.  I’m going to conjecture that this was not premeditated because if it were, the guy needs to be wedged deeper into the category of dumb criminals.
  2. He goes up to the drive-through speaker and orders some hot coffee as an excuse to get close to the register.  I looked up the location of the attempted robbery.  The article states that it was on 967 First Ave in West Haven, CT.  The Dunkin’ store there is open 24 hours.  It doesn’t say that just the drive-through is open 24hr so I’m going to assume that the main store is also open 24hr.  If the main store were open, why did he insist on going through the drive-through?  To reach the window where the money would be, you need an excuse to go there.  This guy orders a hot coffee.  Ok, maybe he really wanted coffee.  Maybe he though he’d be successful and he’d need  to be alert to drive away from the area after robbing the store.  But why HOT coffee?  An ice coffee would have kept him alert too and wouldn’t be as damaging as hot coffee if it lands on your skin.  Also, it’s 23:00.  Why are you drinking coffee anyway?  Why not just order a donut?  Being pelted with donuts isn’t really damaging.  And another thing with this taking place late at night, most stores, food or otherwise, will only keep a limited amount of cash on hand because businesses generally don’t get a lot of traffic late night/early morning and also to deter criminals from robbing their store when there is only a skeleton crew.
  3. Guy gets up to the window and then asks for change for 100$.  Who does that?  I almost always see signs posted around the window that cashiers have a limited amount of cash in their registers.  AND let’s remember that this is happening late at night.  There’s no way the cashier could have ever honored a request to make change for 100$ even if she wanted to.
  4. He changes his story from “wanting coffee and needing change” to “robbery.”  I’m sure the girl manning the window already knew something was up before he changed his mind and said he was robbing the place.
  5. Guy tries to go through the drive-through window.  This is just dumb.  Robbing a place THROUGH a drive-through window without an accomplice is just dumb.  I mean, I can kind of see how you can pull it off if you have an accomplice, but this guy was by himself.  In a truck.  To go through the window, he’d have to get out of his truck and then wedge himself into the window.  Drive through windows are not large.  There’s no reason for it, as you’re only passing money and food through it.  It’s definitely not made for a grown man to shove himself through.  Also, all of that would take time.  This is plenty of time to give even the slowest of employees to realize that something is wrong and to at least close the window, which is what the girl tried to do.  She says that the guy was smart enough to shove his arm through to block her instead of grabbing at it and leaving fingerprints.  I don’t think he was that smart.  He probably was just trying to save his fingers from being caught in the window.
  6. He’s rebuffed by his own order and has to run to his truck and drive away.  Again, why did he order HOT coffee?  Maybe the store would have had a pot of hot coffee already on hand, but it wouldn’t have been RIGHT NEXT TO THE WINDOW ready to be thrown if he hadn’t ordered the coffee.  And then after he has his hot coffee thrown in his face, he has to RUN to his truck?  How far did he park from the window?  At any rate, I’m glad the employee had the presence of mind to throw his hot coffee at him and then go back for the pot of coffee and throw that at him too.  The fact that she was able to throw in the company’s tagline (or something similar to it) is a bonus.  Good on her.

This guy was just SO. DUMB.

Also, I’m not really sure why America runs on Dunkin’.  It’s not bad coffee, but it’s not especially GOOD either.  It’s just…acceptable coffee (at a pretty decent price).