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Category Archives: storytime

Giant, telepathic cabbages growing in the snow

I recently had a dream. It was a very interesting dream. The first interesting one I’ve had in awhile. My dreams have been really mundane recently. Fairly boring and not memorable at all. AT. ALL. But not this one. This one was really interesting. It was even more interesting when I was dreaming it because I could remember more of it then. Yes. Interesting. Quite interesting it was. Interesting indeed… (Ok, I’ll stop.)

Anyway, my dream involved a giant cabbage. It was growing in a snowy field. Also, it was telepathic. It may have also been telekinetic because I remember it was pounding the floor with something right before I woke up. Now then, why would there be a giant, telepathic cabbage growing in the snow pounding on the floor? Well, obviously it was to warn her son. Duh. I mean, why else would a telepathic, telekinetic cabbage pound on the floor?

Yes. Her son. You see, some unseen, evil villain guy wanted to kill her son, who is not a cabbage but a real boy. So he sent his tentacled eye-monster minion out to dispose of Mrs. Cabbage’s (I don’t know if that was her name, but I shall call her such) son. I don’t know why Little Boy Cabbage was targeted. My dream didn’t go into the backstory. Anyway, the tentacle eye-monster apparently had magical powers of some sort (if you think about it, a magickless tentacled eye-monster wouldn’t make a good minion at all) and was able to whisk the boy into an alternate reality for easy disposal except the eye-monster messed up and lost the kid in a field. Somehow, Mrs. Cabbage found out/knew of this plot and by the power of motherhood, was able to also get herself transported to this alternate reality to warn her son. Except…she ended up as a giant cabbage. Growing in a snowy field. But at least with the powers of telepathy and telekinesis.

Mrs. Cabbage. She has this red, ribbony thing orbiting around her and it fragments in proportion to the amount of awareness the eye-monster has of her son.

So, the last image I really remember is the scene where Mrs. Cabbage is frantically trying to warn her son about the eye-monster coming for him. She’s “shouting” at him and pounding on the floor with…something. I don’t think I ever saw what it was. The eye-monster has just seen Little Boy Cabbage and is rushing toward him. The boy is faintly aware that something is terribly amiss. I don’t think he had very developed powers in this alternate reality. I don’t know if he had any in the other reality either. Anyway, I woke up after that.

What the eye-monster looks like normally.

Also, this particular magical, tentacled eye-monster was a terrible minion. Completely incompetent. Seriously, how do you lose a kid in an empty field when he is in eye shot the whole time??

What the eye-monster looks like when it’s pursuing something. It moves a bit like how the sentinels did in /The Matrix/.

Also, also, in case you were wondering, this wasn’t really a nightmare.  I was incredibly entertained whilst dreaming and was slightly disappointed when I woke up.  I wanted to know how it ended.

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System…

Ok, not really.

Over the weekend I conducted a test. It was a test to see how much Yaris understands where her beloved dot friends (read: beam spots from either a laser pointer or flashlight) reside. It turns out, she has a very good understanding as to where they live.

On Saturday, Yaris was hanging out by my side as LeeEv and I were conducting some business for the day, when Yaris decided it was time to play. So she put her head in my lap. And when I looked down at her, she sat back and look expectantly at me. Then I ignored her and we repeated this process a few times. Since Yaris was not going to be put off, I decided to distract her for a bit by letting her sniff various things that were lying on my desk.

A pen? Sniff, sniff. Yes, it passes muster.

A notepad? Meh.

Some junk mail? She tried to delicately take it from me and run off with it, since stealing the mail and running away is one of her preferred games, and I had to quickly put the mail out of her reach.

How about a cube of Buckyballs? This was a new thing she hadn’t encountered before as I had only gotten them on Friday. This warranted a more involved investigation. There was a lot of sniffing and prodding. I think Yaris deemed them acceptable and sat back to wait for something else to inspect.

She was very interested in the box of cookies. She was not so interested in the various cables I had.

And since I was running out of things on my desk for her to inspect, I decided to see if she really knew that my wireless mouse was also home to the laser pointer. I wanted to see if she would sniff the mouse first or know immediately what it was. I also wanted to know if she knew the difference between my wireless mouse, which was inactive at the time, and my wired mouse, which was the one I was using. The wired mouse probably wouldn’t be terribly interesting to her since it doesn’t have a laser pointer in it. But it does have a red LED and its shape is pretty similar to my wireless mouse. I thought maybe she would be fooled by it for a little bit.

Turns out, she is not at all interested in the wired mouse. She wouldn’t even give it a second glance. She was waiting for the wireless one. The moment it came in sight, she stood up and readied herself to start chasing the beam spot. No need to sniff and investigate the mouse. She knew the red dot lived inside. She would check to see if I was pushing any buttons then look in the general direction of where I was pointing the laser pointer and back at me. Basically, she wanted me to get on with it so she could chase the laser pointer for awhile. Apparently, Yaris is smart enough to know what produces the dot, where the dot should be, and that whoever is holding the laser pointer is responsible for the dot. She doesn’t think the dot is some weird creature that should be killed and eaten.

And yet, trying to bite the beam spot is still one of her favorite activities.