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This is why we can’t have fun things, guys

Yes, I know there should be a random doodle or something today but I’ve decided to post a link to this story instead.  Did you read it?

I AM SO ANNOYED.

You’ll remember that I’ve mentioned rare-earth magnets before and why I was so irritated with parents and their small children playing with the magnets and subsequently swallowing them.  So…you can imagine how I feel about A TEENAGER doing the same thing.

WHY IS A TEENAGER PUTTING RARE-EARTH MAGNETS IN HER MOUTH AND THEN SWALLOWING THEM??  To her credit, she said that it was a “stupid kid moment” and didn’t try and give some lame excuse as to why it was acceptable for her to swallow the magnets.  But still.  SHE IS NOT A TODDLER.

She also knew of the dangers of swallowing the magnets and she still put them in her mouth.  I can understand that she didn’t want to put them on the floor of the bathroom, but THEY’RE MAGNETS.  She could have stuck on her shirt.  They’re rare-earth magnets.  They’re incredibly strong.  They would have held together on her shirt.  WHY DID SHE PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH?  She could have put them in her pocket.  She could have even wrapped them in paper and put them by the sink.  Any of these things would have been acceptable.  Yet SHE PUT THEM IN HER MOUTH AND THEN SWALLOWED THEM.

She also decided to report her story to the media in order to alert parents and other children of the dangers of swallowing the magnets.  Ok, that was nice of her.  BUT WHY WAS SHE SWALLOWING MAGNETS TO BEGIN WITH?!  Younger children are known to put things in their mouth.  It’s part of their way of exploring the world.  It’s a known thing and it’s also why Buckyballs and related came with strong warnings against allowing younger children to play with them.

Why can’t parents have some common sense?  If there are 1o328u12o3 warnings on a product not to give them to small children, don’t you think you should at least investigate why the warnings are there before disregarding them?  Not all children have a fascination with putting things in their mouth.  I get that.  Maybe it would be ok if they played with the magnets.  Most children are not like that.  Parents probably already know their children’s typical behavior.  If they already have ample evidence that their children like to put things in their mouth, WHY ARE THEY GIVING THEIR CHILDREN SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH THAT IS POTENTIALLY FATAL TO THEM?  And then suing.  Yes.  Please to blame someone else for your own stupidity.

GAH.  I AM SO ANNOYED.

I had an exceptionally violent dinner the other day…

Me: I found an eggplant.
Herb: In your garden I hope.  If it was in the attic I would have someone else eat part of it first.
Me: No, in the fridge.
Herb: Thump it.
Me: It’s not a watermelon.
Herb: Yes, but it’s still fun.  It’s like a little back massage for the guy…he’s probably cold.
Me: I stuck him in the oven.  After brutally stabbing and slicing him.
Herb: Herbicide.
Me: Agent orange?
Herb: As in herbicidal maniac.
Me: Def agent orange.  I found a tub of cream cheese.
Herb: In the refrigerator I hope.  What hideous fate awaits this poor thing?
Me: I blended it with the murdered eggplant and red bell pepper.  And I also used the guts of some vinaigrette I found.  I also found an onion that I’m grilling for secrets even as I type.
Herb: Sounds diabolically delish.

Um…I’m not really sure why I decided to start describing what I was making for dinner so violently to my coworker (whose real name is not Herb).  I’m…sure it happens to other people too.  I’m sure it’s not just me.

Anyway, I was taking an inventory of perishables in my fridge that my mother left me.  I think it might be an Asian mother thing to come and visit and leave you with a lot of food, much of it perishable.

As I was looking through the fridge, I found an eggplant, several red bell peppers, part of an onion, and a tub of cream cheese.  So I ended up making a roasted eggplant and red bell cream cheese spread.  I flavored it with some sun-dried tomato and garlic vinaigrette that I found in the pantry.  Then I interrogated the onion for its rebel secrets…over an open flame…in a 10″ fry pan.  You know, as one does.

Then I made a sandwich.  And it was delicious.

Oh and that random attic reference is a story for another time.