Random moosages as I see fit.

I was talking about how midlife crises (MLCs) are popularly considered Bad Things with my MLC and I think I figured some of this out (aside from the “going through” aspect).  It turns out, there are different grades of MLCs.  Some are definitely better than others.  I suspect that the inferior quality MLCs look rather insubstantial and that’s why people are always trying to go through them.  My MLC is of exquisite quality.  She says so herself.  I think I may have to agree.  I mean, my MLC looks very solid to me.  I have never thought about going through my MLC.  I’m pretty sure that’s another reason as to why MLCs are considered Bad Things.

In speaking to my MLC about this, I found out that they are hired out to people.  Obviously, you are paying for quality.  My MLC charges quite a bit for her services.  I think I have a wealthy patron or patroness out there, because I’ve never gotten a bill.  My MLC was vague about this part.  I suppose there’s a confidentiality agreement involved.  It makes sense.  Out of respect, I haven’t pried any further about it.  I might decide to do a bit of investigative snooping later, but I’m far too busy battling the overwhelm (I guess I’ll link to this forever) to do that it right now.

I also suspect that my MLC is a freelance MLC.  I haven’t asked, so I can’t say for certain, but it seems to fit.  She’s probably gotten a lot of experience over the years and has developed a reputation for quality work.  She can probably find clients easily without needing to work for some larger corporation.  In fact, when you develop a reputation for quality works, clients often end up looking for you.  This is not like working for a large corporation at all.  You tend to be nameless in a large corporation and oftentimes, I think that affects the quality of your work.  You indeed have some people who take great pride in their work and give their best all the time, but from what I’ve seen, you have a lot more people who are just warm bodies collecting paychecks.  Those are probably the MLCs that look insubstantial, making you think that you can just go through them, and then it ends up in a big fight with emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change.

There might be amateur MLCs too.  Maybe they’re going through internships?  I’m not sure if they have internships.  Maybe MLCs follow the working structure of yore.  You would have a master craftsman who would take on apprentices.  Apprentices may then go on to become journeymen and eventually get their own workshop and freelance.  There were a lot of apprentices of yore who would complete their apprenticeships but never gain their own workshop though.  I guess that’s where the major corporation comes in.  You know, I think I may have just figured out how this whole thing works.  Apprentices likely get to hone their craft by creating quarter-life crises.  Journeymen and above get to create MLCs.  Journeymen who don’t become master craftsmen and get their own workshops end up working for the major corporation.  I don’t know about three-quarter life crises.  It seems reasonable that only master craftsman get to create those, though.

My MLC has just informed me that she was personally trained by the master of MLCs.  Maybe there’s a master master craftsman out there.  I’m pretty sure that’s how it works.

Anyway, as part of my MLC’s exquisite work, she provides me with some headaches.  I guess all exquisite work has some side effects?  I don’t know.  From what I’ve been told, the headaches might be the exquisite work itself.  I guess it would be if MLCs are supposed to cause emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change.  I’m largely unaffected by that.  I just get headaches sometimes.  I’m rather glad I have an MLC who is a master craftsman that does such exquisite work that I only get headaches.  Emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change sounds like a big hassle to me.  I’m also rather glad that my MLC and I can be friends.  It’s nice to have friends.

I wonder if there is more than one guild for MLCs…

midlife crisis (noun)

: a period of emotional turmoil in middle age characterized especially by a strong desire for change

Definition courtesy of Merriam-Webster

Not many of you may know, but I have a midlife crisis (MLC).  You read correctly, I have an MLC.  I’m not going through one.  I mean, you can see from the definition above that an MLC is a noun.  You can have nouns, you know.  So, as I was saying, I have an MLC.

I’m not even sure if I would be considered “midlife” or “middle aged.”  I’m probably closer to quarter aged, hard to tell since you don’t have an expiration date.  But if you hear me talk sometimes, you might believe that I was really three-quarter life (three-quarter aged?) or something (I shall leave this statement purposely ambiguous).  Do people have three-quarter life crises?  I know fresh college grads sometimes have quarter life crises.  It would make sense that there would be a three-quarter life crises.  I’m not sure though.  I don’t know about that “emotional turmoil either” or the “strong desire for change.”  I generally am not a very extreme person and those sound like extreme things.  I figure subtlety is better at getting me me what I want than outright extremity.

Anyway, also different from what I popularly see and hear of midlife crises: my midlife crisis is something of a friend.  We get along quite well.  We do things together all the time.  Sometimes, we even have to battle the overwhelm together.  You need to be pretty careful about the overwhelm.  It may help if you have someone battling it along with you.  So anyway, I don’t really understand why an MLC is always depicted as a Bad Thing and people make fun of people going through MLCs and there is always much despair and whining.

Hmm…maybe the “going through” an MLC is the problem.  If more people were friends with their MLCs and just had one instead of going through it, maybe MLCs wouldn’t be considered a Bad Thing anymore.  I mean, if someone were always trying to go through you, wouldn’t that make you annoyed?

You:  I am going to go right through you!
MLC:  You’re stupid!  We’re both solid objects!  Solid objects can’t go through each other!
You:  (charge and tackle MLC)
Both fall on the floor; there is much biting, kicking, punching, and screaming is heard.
MLC: (shrieking) You’re stupid!  You’re stupid!  I’m going to curse you with so much emotional turmoil and a strong desire for change!!

I’m pretty sure that’s what’s happening to people trying to make it through their MLC.  So really, the MLC is wrongly being accused of being a Bad Thing.  It’s really your fault for being so dumb and not learning your sciences well.  Obviously two solid objects aren’t going to make it through each other.  There’s too much mass localized in one area.  My MLC and I don’t act like that at all.  Sometimes we go on adventures together.  People should act more like us.

Maybe…I’ll do some research and conduct an experiment.  Human experiments take a really long time though and I’d have to track this through generations to see a meaningful trend.  I wonder if fruit flies have MLCs.  Maybe my MLC will know.  I think I’ll ask.