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Tag Archives: totally true stories

Hilariously incorrect conclusions: The circus

As a child, it’s really easy to complete a perfectly logical train of thought and arrive at completely the wrong conclusion because a child just doesn’t have enough life experience to know how things work.  It’s a common phenomenon.  This American Life did a whole program dedicated to kid logic.

I find kid logic to be absolutely hilarious.  It’s so logical, even to the very end.  It’s just that the conclusion is completely and often hilariously incorrect.

When I was little, I heard a lot about the circus.  I really liked watching Disney’s Dumbo.  I didn’t particularly like the pink elephants and I didn’t believe that elephants could fly, but the circus seemed so wonderful.  Some of my friends would go to the circus and tell me about it.  There would be huge tents—striped of course, I had noted all the details about circuses in Dumbo—and animals, and trapeze artists, and people on stilts, and maybe a cannon that would shoot out people.  I really wanted to see the circus.

Around the same time, I had more or less outgrown the height limit for ball pits and most bouncy castles (I was a tall kid).  I really liked ball pits and bouncy castles and I was terribly sad that I couldn’t go into most of them.  Some of my friends would also tell me that they would go to birthday parties where the parents would rent a bouncy castle and they would have great fun all afternoon.  I would be really envious that their friends were not also my friends so that I could be invited to bouncy castle birthday parties.

Not long after that, I would see certain houses in my neighborhood would be covered in tent-like material and that the material would often be striped.  It made the house look like a giant tent.  And I would be so jealous.  Because obviously, the person who lived at that house was having a birthday party and they were celebrating by inviting the entire circus to perform at their house, because if you can rent a bouncy castle for an afternoon, you can obviously rent a circus for several days.  So obvious.

No, I don’t see how termites are relevant.  Why?

How to interact with the introverted

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I saw this awhile ago and it seems like this is a good time to post it, having just hosted a house full of people.

I am introverted.  I am very introverted.  If there were such a thing, I could be considered pathologically introverted (this is not a thing and actually, it’s kind of insulting to say this to an introvert because introversion isn’t a disease or a defect.  You should probably only allow an introvert to call themselves pathologically introverted and even then, they probably won’t unless they have a particularly dark and morbid sense of humor.).  Anyway, I’m just trying to emphasize that there is no extraversion in my nature.  You may have kind of picked that up here.  I am not mildly introverted.

That being said, I know I come off as being unfriendly to many people.  Possibly kind of a jerk because I am so unfriendly.  That is not entirely the case.  I do not disagree that I can be unfriendly but I’m not necessarily as unfriendly as you think.  I just don’t have the energy and motivation to interact with you especially if you’re going to try and talk my ear off.  I’m willing to listen to your stories up to a point, but if you never shut up, you are on the list of people to try and avoid.  Why?  Because it’s TIRING to be around you.

And you take up a lot of time.  Not that time has a whole lot to do with being introverted.  You just have to remember that I’m an engineer too.  I have a mild obsession with efficiency.  I’ve found that people who want to talk you to death often also want your full attention the entire time.  This is not efficient as well as tiring.  Especially if I’m not interested in what your brother’s friend’s cousin’s mother’s uncle’s hamster did over the weekend.

So, that illustrated guide to interacting with an introvert?  It’s really helpful to know if you’re going to try and interact with me.  Which you probably won’t.  Because I’m probably avoiding you.  Because I’m pathologically introverted (not at thing).

Obtw, graphics link back to source.