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Bar fights can be useful teaching tools

Does that seem confusing?  I think it could be true.  Here, take a look at this.  It describes WWI in terms of a bar fight.  My friend sent it to me.

And here is the resultant conversation about it.

[12:38:57] Me: Germany will render it incapable of such action anymore.

[12:39:12] SSRASWBG-AE: Yes.

[12:39:14] SSRASWBG-AE: hahaha

[12:39:49] Me: Um…this is a hilarious bar fight…

[12:39:51] SSRASWBG-AE: I’m so amused by it.

[12:39:59] Me: Of course, it ended up being a world war which probably is not as amusing…

[12:40:04] SSRASWBG-AE: Right.

[12:40:08] Me: I think countries need to fight things out as bar fights more often.

[12:40:10] SSRASWBG-AE: But the depiction…

[12:40:13] SSRASWBG-AE: Maybe.

[12:40:20] SSRASWBG-AE: Russia suffered a personality change.

[12:40:21] Me: With an old timey narrator covering the whole story.

[12:40:21] SSRASWBG-AE: haha

[12:41:10] Me: Yeah, Russia isn’t a very good fighter…

[12:41:12] Me: At least in bars.

[12:41:19] SSRASWBG-AE: Neither is America, apparently.

[12:41:21] SSRASWBG-AE: Or Italy.

[12:42:11] Me: Well, you don’t really know. America might just be too prissy to get involved.

[12:42:28] Me: But also has bad sportsmanship.

[12:42:32] SSRASWBG-AE: haha

[12:43:00] Me: Actually, I’m pretty sure America was too prissy to get involved…

[12:43:18] Me: America has manicured nails, you see.

[12:43:19] SSRASWBG-AE: America was grooming in the mirror until it saw Germany losing?

[12:44:25] Me: I think so.

[12:44:35] Me: Also waxing his mustache.

[12:44:46] SSRASWBG-AE: Yes.

[12:45:03] Me: And making sure his suit was not wrinkled and fitting well.

[12:45:10] SSRASWBG-AE: haha

[12:45:15] SSRASWBG-AE: With his monocle.

[12:45:22] Me: I think America probably decided to go hit Germany with the barstool when the mirror shattered.

[12:45:28] SSRASWBG-AE: Probably.

[12:45:32] Me: It makes it hard to preen.

[12:45:34] SSRASWBG-AE: Maybe Germany fell into the mirror and broke it.

[12:45:39] SSRASWBG-AE: And America got mad.

[12:45:41] Me: Um…this probably needs to be a post.

I had an exceptionally violent dinner the other day…

Me: I found an eggplant.
Herb: In your garden I hope.  If it was in the attic I would have someone else eat part of it first.
Me: No, in the fridge.
Herb: Thump it.
Me: It’s not a watermelon.
Herb: Yes, but it’s still fun.  It’s like a little back massage for the guy…he’s probably cold.
Me: I stuck him in the oven.  After brutally stabbing and slicing him.
Herb: Herbicide.
Me: Agent orange?
Herb: As in herbicidal maniac.
Me: Def agent orange.  I found a tub of cream cheese.
Herb: In the refrigerator I hope.  What hideous fate awaits this poor thing?
Me: I blended it with the murdered eggplant and red bell pepper.  And I also used the guts of some vinaigrette I found.  I also found an onion that I’m grilling for secrets even as I type.
Herb: Sounds diabolically delish.

Um…I’m not really sure why I decided to start describing what I was making for dinner so violently to my coworker (whose real name is not Herb).  I’m…sure it happens to other people too.  I’m sure it’s not just me.

Anyway, I was taking an inventory of perishables in my fridge that my mother left me.  I think it might be an Asian mother thing to come and visit and leave you with a lot of food, much of it perishable.

As I was looking through the fridge, I found an eggplant, several red bell peppers, part of an onion, and a tub of cream cheese.  So I ended up making a roasted eggplant and red bell cream cheese spread.  I flavored it with some sun-dried tomato and garlic vinaigrette that I found in the pantry.  Then I interrogated the onion for its rebel secrets…over an open flame…in a 10″ fry pan.  You know, as one does.

Then I made a sandwich.  And it was delicious.

Oh and that random attic reference is a story for another time.