In Corona, the city in which I work, there is a drive thru market. Now, I know it’s listed as Dena Alta on Google Maps, but if you look at the sign, it says Alta Dena. I don’t know why Google would have flipped it. Maybe they really are registered as Dena Alta. In which case, I don’t know why they would write their name in reverse on their sign. But anyway, I will refer to it as Alta Dena, and Wikipedia tells me that they own several such drive thru markets.
Now then, since this market is owned by Alta Dena and they are a dairy, I can only assume that they only sell milk, or milk products. Actually, that Wikipedia article I linked to earlier said that they run approximately 100 drive thru dairies, meaning the stores only sell dairy products. Why would you need a store that only carries milk products and is a drive thru store besides? Are you really in such a hurry that you can’t get out of your car to pick up a gallon of milk? Well, I can kind of see that. Have you ever noticed that supermarkets almost always place milk and eggs at the back of the store? It’s because those are necessities and if they put them at the front of the store, you’d walk in, grab what you need, and walk out, thus greatly reducing their ability to sell things to you. So, they put them at the back of the store so that you have to traverse the whole store just to get your gallon of milk. And in the meantime, while you are making this arduous trek, they can bombard you with advertisements via artful product arrangement where you will likely succumb to their scheme and make an impulse buy…like cookies to go with your milk and sausage to go with your eggs. Anyway, I digress…
So, you drive into the market that only sells dairy products…and then what? I imagine it’s like a full service gas station, which I dislike with intensity (I’m glaring at you right now, Oregon and New Jersey). Maybe there will be an old timey ding as you drive over the trip wire and an attendant will come out and help you. Then you can roll down your windows, and I suspect the conversation would go something like this:
You (Y): Hi, I’m looking for some milk.
Attendant (A): Yes you are in the right store for that. I recommend that you get the Alta Dena 2% today. It’s very fresh, arrived just this morning.
Y: Yes…well, that sounds pretty good. What’s the expiration date on it?
A: For the gallon jug, it’s [some date].
Y: Hmm…I don’t think I could use it all before then. Does it come in smaller sizes?
A: How about this charming glass quart?
Y: Hmm…no…no, I don’t think that’ll do. Glass takes too long to break down in the landfills and I don’t trust that my neighborhood recycling company is handling glass properly. What else do you have? Do you have anything organic?
A: We are completely out. But we have this lovely vitamin D fortified whole milk! The expiration date is [some other date].
Y: Oh, that sounds pretty good. But I don’t want that bottle. How about that one over there? [points]
A: This one? [reaches for bottle]
Y: No, no. That one looks suspicious. That one right there. [points]
A: This one? [reaches for bottle]
Y: No! Can’t you see how dirty that carton is?! That one right there! [points]
A: [sighs] This one? [points]
Y: No, two to the left and three behind.
A: Ah, good choice. [reaches for carton] Will that be all?
Y: Actually, I’ve changed my mind. We don’t really drink whole milk at our house. I think I’ll just take a tub of sour cream instead, thanks.
A: …of course. Here you are.
Yes, I’m pretty sure that’s what they have to deal with all the time. I can’t imagine how this is a good business model.
Oh, and I sketched what the inside of the story might look like. It’s up that the top if you didn’t see it already. I traced the car, if you’re wondering. I wasn’t interested in drawing a whole car today. And sorry that it’s so small. I…wasn’t paying attention to my canvas size. Oh well.
Random moosages as I see fit. 