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It has recently been brought to my attention that there is a fish called Tilapia.  This is not the tilapia you see in the fish section of the market.  This is not the (possibly) mild tasting white-fleshed fish.  Personally, I think they taste muddy and I’m not terribly fond of them.  No, that tilapia is tilapia, the poo eater (if you wonder why I call them poo eaters, you should probably research how they are farmed).  No, I speak of Tilapia, hunter of the much feared piranha!
How did I learn of Tilapia, hunter of the much feared piranha?  Why, by reading this article.  It seems that Brazil is having a problem with the piranha population.  Part of the reason is because piranha have no natural predators.  But, the article also states that:

Authorities began a program to reduce piranha overpopulation and added 100,000 tilapia to the local food chain.

Authorities are ADDING TILAPIA to REDUCE THE PIRANHA OVERPOPULATION!

This can only mean one thing.  Tilapia, hunter of the much feared piranha, is an UNnatural predator.  They must be genetically engineered tilapia!  They could possibly be robotic tilapia!  I’m not sure why robot tilapia want to eat piranhas, but robot tilapia are decidedly unnatural, so it’s a possibility.  Why are authorities releasing these unnatural tilapia into the waters?  Where did they even get these things?  How did the engineer the tilapia to be able to hunt and eat the much feared piranha?  Were the scientists kept in seclusion to develop this species of tilapia?  What impact will this super tilapia have on the environment after it eats all the piranha?  Will super piranha have to be engineered to eat all the tilapia?  What of the Brazilian swimmers and sunbathers who just want to spend an afternoon at the beach?  The article doesn’t answer any of these important questions.  We should demand to know more.

Also, news agencies should hire people who know how to write less ambiguous sentences.  Possibly, they should hire people who know how to write properly in general.  I have seen far too many news stories, even from bigger media outlets, with misspelled words, poor grammar, and poor sentence structure.  What, are good writers so hard to find these days?  And here’s a better written article on what’s going on with those piranha in Brazil.

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