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I have recently come to the realization that I may be an incompetent adult, in that, I am terrible at adulting.  This…is a really hard thing for me to accept.  I try to be at least competent at everything I do.  So the fact that I cannot adult well…it hurts.

I can perform individual elements of adulting well enough.  I can be responsible.  I can hold down a job.  I can schedule and plan events and then carry through with those plans.  I can take care of a dog.  I can take care of children too.  I can…kind of go to bed at reasonable hours during which you believe adults should go to bed.  But when you put all the elements of adulting together, well…things start to go awry.

I can hold it all together for awhile and pass as a reasonably competent adult.  But as time goes on, I really have to strain to continue.  I would really prefer to be irresponsible and not cook and clean but rather stay in bed until noon and maybe play games while in bed.  Or maybe read a good book.  I can subsist on nothing but milk and cereal for days at a time.  And then maybe break it up with a few weeks of pizza.  I would still take care of the dog though.  The dog would probably eat better than me.

And what I find really weird is that most other adults don’t think I’m a bad adult.  They think I’m a very good adult.  They are oblivious to the monumental effort I am putting into the appearing in the semblance of an adult.  Apparently, I can just fake it really well.  I’m sure the amount of effort I have to put into adulting is much more than any normal adult should have to put in to being an adult.  Obviously there is something wrong with me.

Anyhoo, I’m facing the overwhelm right now.  So I’m not going to finish this post in a reasonably adulty manner.  kthxbye.

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