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Category Archives: ponderings

Where did the zombie stomach go?

I may have mentioned the zombie stomach in previous posts (yes, two different links).  However, looking back, I don’t think I even explained where the idea of a zombie stomach came from.  Well, I assure you, the zombie stomach is not a mere idea.  It’s a real thing.  It belongs to my friend, Sheri, as you can see in this post.

If you read the post, you can see that the zombie stomach is to help keep her abnormal, hypergrowth organs in check.  But I’ve noticed that the zombie stomach likes a little variety sometimes and Sheri is inexplicably able to give me her zombie stomach to babysit (zombiesit?).

Ok…fine.  But the problem is, I don’t have weird, hypergrowth organs.  So, in order to keep the zombie stomach from reaching my brains, I have to feed it.  A lot.  (In order to weigh it down, you see.  It can’t possibly eat all of my organs to my brain if it’s constantly weighed down by food.)  This takes a lot of time and effort and I really prefer not to be bothered.  I like my nice, normal, low maintenance stomach just fine (I’m not really sure where it goes.  It may just cower in the corner when the zombie stomach is over to play.)

But just recently, we lost track of the zombie stomach.  Sheri was not did not experience her organ chewing hunger pangs and neither was I eating voraciously at every opportunity.  The zombie stomach went missing.  We suspect that it’s off pouting because it wasn’t getting any attention.  The zombie stomach may be an adolescent stomach.  You know how moody and pouty teenagers can be.

Kind of like this.

I guess when it pouts itself out, it’ll come back.

I refuse to babysit it anymore, though.

Did you want to read the conversation that inspired this post?

Moosterkey: Where is your zombie stomach anyway?
…
Moosterkey: I don’t have it.
cherriebb515: I don’t have it either.
…
cherriebb515: I dunno.
cherriebb515: Maybe it took a walk.
Moosterkey: hahahah
Moosterkey: Pouting?
cherriebb515: Put off.
cherriebb515: No one wants to feed it.
Moosterkey: hahaha.
Moosterkey: It’s probably walking with its arms crossed.
cherriebb515: Stomping perhaps?
Moosterkey: With one of those anime scribbly clouds over his head.
Moosterkey: Stomping.
Moosterkey: And kicking a can.
Moosterkey: Muttering.
Moosterkey: And there’s a small raincloud over its head following it along.
Moosterkey: I wonder if I can draw this.

It occurs to me that I forgot to draw the can.  Oh well.

Nature is out to kill you: Tree edition

I have long pondered the durian and how it grows on trees.  For those of you who do not know what a durian is, it’s a fruit that smells something of used socks, has the texture of custard, and is large and spiky.  And it grows on trees.  That last part is important.  That and the fact that the durian is large and spiky.

Durian Tree

So, durian grows on trees.  You can see from the picture the these trees are not little, stubby trees.  They’re pretty big.  The fruit is spiky.  The fruit is relatively heavy.  What if a durian were to fall on your head as you walked underneath a tree?

Jackfruit Tree

The same idea with jackfruit.  Jackfruit are even bigger than durian and I’m sure they are even heavier (I’ve never interacted with a whole jackfruit, only pieces).  Can you imagine the type of damage that would do to your head if the jackfruit were to fall on you?

Brazil Nut Tree

And with Brazil nuts.  They aren’t as big or spiky, but look!  Brazil nut fruits look like cannonballs!

Coconut tree

Coconuts too.

From this I can only conclude that nature is out to kill you.  Why else would there be such things like durian trees and jackfruit trees and Brazil nut trees and coconut trees?  Obviously they exist only to brain the unsuspecting passerby.  The fact that the weapon is edible is not merely coincidence.  It is a deliberate plan.  People who tend to these trees aren’t raising them for food but for weapons.  Innocent looking weapons.  They all have really good propaganda machines to make you overlook the fact that these are weapons and get you to focus only on the fact that they are a source of nutrients.  Don’t be fooled.  Nature is out to kill you.

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