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Storytime: GSDs who Eat Delicately

Here is a story about one of my old dogs.  She was a long-haired black/tan/white German Shepherd Dog (GSD).  They look kind of like this.  Mine was quite the nice looking dog.  She was predominately black.  Also, she was quite smart and delicate.  It’s really interesting seeing a giant dog be delicate, especially when eating.  So anyway…
One time, my sister came home school after a Valentine’s Day party and she had a big envelope of candy and cards and other such things.  I recall my dad and I had been out in the front yard working on stuff earlier, so the dogs were outside with us.  When my sister went into the house, she unknowingly dropped one of those miniature rolls of Life Savers on the lawn.  My GSD found it and immediately decided that it was a wonderful treat.  I found her a bit later lying on the grass with the roll of candy between her front paws and a small, neat pile of wax paper wrapper next to her while she was picking out the Life Savers one by one and eating them.  She would eat one or two and then rip some of the wrapper off, put it in the pile next to her, and eat another Life Saver.  It was one of the funniest things I had ever seen.  My sister disagreed.

The end.

And almost 16 now…

Yar!  I be realizin’ t’day that it be Talk Like a Pirate Day!  Now, ye be gettin’ sumthin’ special w’ th’ t’day’s post written entirely in Pirate!

Me old fart o' a dog.

I just be realizin’ that Choco, me older dog, be almost 16.  Aye, sixteen!  That means she be o’ legal age to get her driver’s license!  I be wonderin’ if she would like to get her license.  I be not adverse t’ it.  She should be able t’ go out an’ see her buckos.  I be not sure how many bucks she be havin’.  She be not terribly interested in sailin’ w’ th’ other dogs.  She prefers t’ go explorin’.  Maybe she be likin’ t’ go hikin’ more.  I be not havin’ th’ time t’ go hikin’ w’ her an’ this summer be frightful hot, not good hikin’ weather.  Maybe if she be havin’ her own car, she be goin’ farther out t’ find th’ good trails.  Maybe up in t’ mountains.  I bet she be likin’ that. She be havin’ some issues with her hips, but she probably be likin’ some independence an’ freedom a car be givin’ t’ her.

Well, if she be wantin’ her driver’s license, I suppose I ought t’ be signin’ her up for driver’s ed.  I be wond’rin’ if there be any drivin’ schools that offer doggy driver’s ed in here waters.  They be needin’ specialized cars for t’ behind t’ wheel trainin’, y’ know.  Choco be needin’ a booster seat o’ some sort an’ t’ pedals be needin’ t’ be raised so that she be reachin’ them.  I be not cert’in if she be usin’ her aft legs or forelegs t’ operate t’ pedals. Th’ interior o’ th’ car would have t’ be designed so that she be easily operatin’ thin’s w’ her mouth too.  I be not seein’ any drivin’ schools around me area that has these specialized cars.  Maybe I be callin’ them t’ check.

It be occurrin’ t’ me that Yaris might like t’ tag along an’ go on adventures w’ Choco.  She be havin’ t’ wait awhile.  At least a year after Choco gets her license.  That be th’ law now.  If ye be gettin’ your license at 16, ye be not legally drivin’ minors w’out someone who be at least 25 in t’ car as well. Yaris be not likin’ that.  She be not likin’ t’ be at port when Choco gets t’ do somethin’.  Oh well.  She just be havin’ t’ deal w’ it for a year.

Another thin’ that I be considerin’ be that Choco be havin’ cataracts now. That be affectin’ her vision.  She might be havin’ t’ always wear corrective lenses, which be not in her loot.  I might be havin’ t’ take her t’ see an optometrist first.  Be ye knowin’ o’ any good doggy optometrists?  I be pretty cert’in me current optometrist be not seein’ dogs.  Also, Choco be not havin’ eye insurance, so that needs t’ be taken into account. Maybe Costco be havin’ reasonable prices for canine optometry visits.  Maybe I be havin’ to ask her vet too.

What I be thinkin’ would disqualify her from gettin’ a license apparently ain’t no problem. Y’ see, Choco be be nearly deaf as a post now.  But apparently, no state be barrin’ deaf people from drivin’.  In fact, many o’ them insurance scallywags be not havin’ higher insurance premiums because o’ the disability because deaf people be more visually aware o’ their surroundin’s than hearin’ people. That makes sense. I’ looks like all she be havin t’ worry about be her eyes then.  I be askin’ if she wants t’ go get her driver’s license.

Ye be not understandin’ Pirate? Here be the post written in English!