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Yar!  I be realizin’ t’day that it be Talk Like a Pirate Day!  Now, ye be gettin’ sumthin’ special w’ th’ t’day’s post written entirely in Pirate!

Me old fart o' a dog.

I just be realizin’ that Choco, me older dog, be almost 16.  Aye, sixteen!  That means she be o’ legal age to get her driver’s license!  I be wonderin’ if she would like to get her license.  I be not adverse t’ it.  She should be able t’ go out an’ see her buckos.  I be not sure how many bucks she be havin’.  She be not terribly interested in sailin’ w’ th’ other dogs.  She prefers t’ go explorin’.  Maybe she be likin’ t’ go hikin’ more.  I be not havin’ th’ time t’ go hikin’ w’ her an’ this summer be frightful hot, not good hikin’ weather.  Maybe if she be havin’ her own car, she be goin’ farther out t’ find th’ good trails.  Maybe up in t’ mountains.  I bet she be likin’ that. She be havin’ some issues with her hips, but she probably be likin’ some independence an’ freedom a car be givin’ t’ her.

Well, if she be wantin’ her driver’s license, I suppose I ought t’ be signin’ her up for driver’s ed.  I be wond’rin’ if there be any drivin’ schools that offer doggy driver’s ed in here waters.  They be needin’ specialized cars for t’ behind t’ wheel trainin’, y’ know.  Choco be needin’ a booster seat o’ some sort an’ t’ pedals be needin’ t’ be raised so that she be reachin’ them.  I be not cert’in if she be usin’ her aft legs or forelegs t’ operate t’ pedals. Th’ interior o’ th’ car would have t’ be designed so that she be easily operatin’ thin’s w’ her mouth too.  I be not seein’ any drivin’ schools around me area that has these specialized cars.  Maybe I be callin’ them t’ check.

It be occurrin’ t’ me that Yaris might like t’ tag along an’ go on adventures w’ Choco.  She be havin’ t’ wait awhile.  At least a year after Choco gets her license.  That be th’ law now.  If ye be gettin’ your license at 16, ye be not legally drivin’ minors w’out someone who be at least 25 in t’ car as well. Yaris be not likin’ that.  She be not likin’ t’ be at port when Choco gets t’ do somethin’.  Oh well.  She just be havin’ t’ deal w’ it for a year.

Another thin’ that I be considerin’ be that Choco be havin’ cataracts now. That be affectin’ her vision.  She might be havin’ t’ always wear corrective lenses, which be not in her loot.  I might be havin’ t’ take her t’ see an optometrist first.  Be ye knowin’ o’ any good doggy optometrists?  I be pretty cert’in me current optometrist be not seein’ dogs.  Also, Choco be not havin’ eye insurance, so that needs t’ be taken into account. Maybe Costco be havin’ reasonable prices for canine optometry visits.  Maybe I be havin’ to ask her vet too.

What I be thinkin’ would disqualify her from gettin’ a license apparently ain’t no problem. Y’ see, Choco be be nearly deaf as a post now.  But apparently, no state be barrin’ deaf people from drivin’.  In fact, many o’ them insurance scallywags be not havin’ higher insurance premiums because o’ the disability because deaf people be more visually aware o’ their surroundin’s than hearin’ people. That makes sense. I’ looks like all she be havin t’ worry about be her eyes then.  I be askin’ if she wants t’ go get her driver’s license.

And now, in English…

I just realized that Choco, my older dog, is almost 16.  Sixteen!  That means she can almost legally get her driver’s license!  I’m wondering if she would like to get her license.  I’m not adverse to it.  She should be able to go out and see her friends and stuff.  I’m not sure how many friends she really has.  She’s never been terribly interested in hanging out with other dogs.  She prefers to go exploring.  Maybe she’d like to go hiking more.  She’s always liked hiking.  I haven’t had much time to go hiking with her and this summer has been pretty hot anyway, not good hiking weather.  Maybe if she had her own car, she’d go farther out to find good trails.  Maybe up in the mountains.  I bet she’d like that.  She does have some issues with her hips, but she probably would still like some independence and freedom a car would give her.

Well, if she wants her driver’s license, I suppose I ought to sign her up for driver’s ed.  I wonder if any of our local driving schools offers doggy driver’s ed.  They would need specialized cars for the behind the wheel training, you know.  Choco would need a booster seat of some sort and the pedals would have to be raised so that she could reach them.  I’m not sure if she’d use her back legs or forelegs to operate the pedals.  The interior of the car would have to be designed so that she could easily operate things with her mouth too.  I’m not sure if I’ve seen any driving schools around my area that has these specialized cars.  Maybe I should call them and check.

It occurs to me that Yaris might like to tag along and go on adventures with Choco.  I guess she’ll have to wait awhile.  At least a year after Choco gets her license.  I believe that is the law now.  If you get your license at 16, you cannot legally drive minors without someone who is at least 25 in the car as well.  Yaris might not like that.  She really doesn’t like to be left behind when Choco gets to do something.  Oh well.  She’ll just have to deal with it for a year.

Another thing that I’m considering is that Choco has cataracts now.  That’s going to affect her vision.  She might have to always wear corrective lenses, which she does not have.  I might have to take her to an optometrist first.  Does anyone know of any good doggy optometrists?  I’m pretty sure my current optometrist doesn’t see dogs.  Also, Choco doesn’t have eye insurance, so that needs to be taken into account.  Maybe Costco has reasonable prices for canine optometry visits.  I guess I could ask her vet too.

What I thought might disqualify her in getting a license apparently isn’t a problem.  You see, Choco is almost completely deaf now.  But apparently, no state bars deaf people from driving.  In fact, many insurance companies don’t even have higher insurance premiums because of the disability because deaf people are often more visually aware of their surroundings than hearing people.  That makes sense.  I guess all she really has to worry about are her eyes then.  I should go ask if she wants to go get her driver’s license.

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