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In case you weren’t aware of his existence, short as it was, this is

(links back to original website).

He was one of Dr. McNinja’s

(Guys, this is the cover to the next TPB! You should get the TPB! Pre-orders are 20% off!)

nemeses.

And this

(links to a slideshow of ridiculous)

is ridiculous.  No seriously, I don’t think I’ve seen anything so ridiculous in a long time.  They look like they’re ardent fans of Dr. McLuchador or something.  Obviously, this deserves mention on this blog.

So, why do all those Asian women look like they want to be Mexican wrestlers?  It’s because they’re afraid of looking like peasants.  How does that make any sense at all?  Because in Asian culture, having a tanned face means that you have to labor out in the fields all day like a peasant.  And looking like a peasant is not fashionable.  So it’s necessary to protect one’s face from the sun to avoid being tanned.  If not by covering it, then by using so many chemical skin lighteners until your face peels off (ok, not really until your face peels off).

Thus, enter the face-kini.  Why did they append “-kini” after “face”?  I don’t know.  It doesn’t make that much sense to me either.  But anyway, these ski mask like things are to help prevent your face from tanning.  Apparently they are all the rage at beaches in China.  And…they really don’t make much sense to me (in case you were not already aware).

Ok, yes.  They are made of nylon, and nylon is one of the synthetic materials that can be used for sun protection.  But they all seem to be dyed light colors.  Darker colors are generally better for sun protection than lighter colors.  I can see why they wouldn’t want to dye these masks a darker color, since they absorb more energy from the sun and get hot, which would be uncomfortable against the skin.  So, how much are these masks helping?  Are they really any better than a good sunscreen?

And then there are holes for the eyes, nose, and mouth.  For obvious reasons, yes.  My guess is that these people aren’t applying sunscreen to the exposed areas of their face.  So now you get this weird raccoon tan thing on your face?  And you get burnt lips?  (Lips don’t tan, you see, they just burn.)  Raccoon tans are fashionable?

This whole thing is ridiculous.  And it’s all because looking like a peasant is unfashionable.  But really…how fashionable (and comfortable) is looking like one of Dr. McLuchador’s assistants?

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