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Yes.  Zombie.  Houses.  Did you know these exist?  Houses.  Zombified.  Think about that.

What if it’s caused by a virus?  What if a virus somehow infects your house?  And then your house becomes a zombie?  Or what if it’s caused by those zombies from PvZ?  What if they somehow recruited your house, the very house your long-suffering plants are laboring to protect, even as you dwell in said house?  Your zombified house will be on the enemy’s side.  It’ll be trying to eat your brains.

You might wonder how a house could try eating your brains.  Well, it would probably be kind of difficult for a house to eat your brains.  But it could definitely make it easier for the humans-turned-zombies to eat your brains.  Your house would obviously start to fall into disrepair and in doing so, it might decide to knock you out with some falling water pipes or it might stun you with an electric shock.  The threat really wouldn’t just be from above.  The floors could start buckling and trip you.  Maybe you have a basement and a large hole might open up beneath you, dropping to the hordes of zombies below.  Living in a zombie house would be really dangerous.

Ok…no.  Zombie houses aren’t really zombies in the traditional sense of the term.  They’re really foreclosed homes that have been left vacant and invite vandalism and such.  Apparently there are over 300,000 such homes all over the US.  They’re not very good zombies at all.  And…I’m kind of disappointed that the media is taking a perfectly good term, like “zombie,” and then totally misusing it.  The houses aren’t undead.  They’re just in foreclosure.  They’re probably in various states of disrepair.  But they aren’t haunting the countryside looking for brains.  They’re still inanimate.  They aren’t the living dead.  Just because zombies are popular (although their popularity is waning/has waned) doesn’t mean you can use the term to describe everything.  So…stop it.

That being said, I kind of wish my version of zombie houses were real.  It would be so interesting.  Um…but maybe too closely related to a haunted house.  Oh well.

I was also going to draw you a picture of a zombie house, but I’m too tired and lack motivation.  So…too bad for you.


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