Skip navigation

Daily Archives: May 27th, 2011

Anger has been a bit of a problem for me recently.  A lot of it is tied into how some people or things irritate me a lot.  Now that I think about it, a lot of my anger has its roots in some form of irritation and then more irritation piles on top of it and then they morph and congeal and become this huge mass of irritation which becomes a ball of anger.  Think about it, wouldn’t it make you angry if there was a huge ball of irritating anger in you and you had to carry it everywhere?  Where would you even put such a thing?  It’s not like there’s a lot of room for you to store big balls of anger inside of you.  You have all these innards in the way.  It must make you feel bloated.  That would be another source of irritation, which would make you even angrier.  It’s a vicious cycle.  Sugh.

Anyway, to deal with this, I have come up with a new anger management system.  Granted, I don’t know much about real anger management systems that they teach to you in…anger management classes.  All I know is stuff that I’ve seen on TV and in movies.  And I’m sure it’s totally true.  Hollywood would never lie to you.  Hollywood portrays life in a completely accurate manner.  Seeing the anger management classes that people conduct in the media…well, they irritate me and that feeds the anger ball, and that needs to be avoided.  So, new anger management system!

Now, I have tracked down that the root of a lot of the anger comes from irritation.  This should probably be limited that in some way.  It seems that people are capable of producing limitless amounts of irritation.  You would think that would violate some laws of physics, but apparently not, because I am can generate just infinite amounts of irritation.  This is no good for anger management.  Thus, I propose a quota system.  You will only allow yourself a limited amount of irritation a day.  Preferably some amount that will keep the bits of irritation from reaching critical mass and then interacting with each other and congealing into a big irritation mass that then becomes an anger ball that will make you bloated and thus more angry and more bloated and more angry and more bloated and more angry until you explode with bloatation, anger, and irritation.  That would be a sad way to die.  Bloated to death!  Bloatality!  Yeah…no good.

So, if you limit the amount of irritation you are willing to hand out at every irritant, it should greatly help reduce the size of the anger ball.  Oh, you’re smacking your gum incessantly?  Two units of irritation for you.  You come in every two minutes asking me the same question but in different ways because you didn’t like the answer I gave you the first time, an answer that was truthful and reasonably well thought out?  Five units of irritation for you.  You are entirely incapable of working out a schedule that is realistic to the resources we have and insist that I work overtime for the rest of my life and also work 23434 hours in a day?  Ten units of irritation for you.  Actually, this is a lot irritation already.  I should be careful.  Maybe I should lower the quota a bit.

But anyway, say now someone comes in and wants me to answer a question for them, a question they could have easily answered themselves just by doing the smallest amount of research.  Well, this might coincide with three units of irritation, but I am out of irritation for the day.  Therefore, that person will just have to come back tomorrow while I refill my irritation quota.  That person can even be the first person in the line for fresh irritation.  Thus, I can deal with the person and his stupid question with the appropriate amount of irritation that they and it deserve.

Limit the irritation, limit the anger.  Ta-da!  Anger management system!

(Hahaha, you thought I was going to talk about limiting the sources of irritation from reading the title, didn’t you?  Well you thought wrong!  HAHAHAHAH!!)