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A two-part post!  Haven’t had a multiple part post in a while.

I may have discovered my latent superpower.  I believe my superpower is that of suffering existential crises.

Have you ever needed to contact someone in some form or fashion but were unable to reach anyone?  And so then you had to leave a message?  And since the matter for which you contacted the other party was incredibly important, you spent a good amount of time waiting by your phone…or really just your phone since you obviously have a smartphone and people can reach you by nigh all means via your phone…hoping that the other party will reply to your query soon?  And then they don’t?  And then suspiciously all manner of other normal and fairly regular and constant communications stop (e.g. twitter)?  And then you wonder if you somehow broke something in the universe?  And that really you don’t exist because no one will call (or whatever) you back?  And that this was all a cruel game or some kind of simulation and you’re really just a figment of imagination?  Maybe even a figment of your OWN imagination?

No?  Well, neither did I until recently.  Several times.  In quick succession.  Somehow I unlocked the superpower of suffering existential crises.  Thus far, everything has gone back to normal and the universe gets fixed and I’m back running under the normal parameters of the simulation.  Or…am I?

But anyway, I will have to agree with you that this isn’t the best superpower ever.  But, I’m only just beginning to unlock it.  Maybe I can learn to control it.  Maybe I can give other people existential crises by suffering from an existential crisis myself SO. HARD. that it makes them doubt their own existence as well.  That could probably be useful in a fight with supervillains.  OH WAIT!  What if I’m the supervillain?  The superpower of suffering from existential crises is a lot more in line with supervillainy than it is with superheroism.  I MUST BE A SUPERVILLAIN THAT GIVES SUPERHEROS EXISTENTIAL CRISES BY SUFFERING FROM ONE MYSELF!




  1. I thought existentialist crises were my superpower.

    • Have you suffered any recently? Have you suffered from one SO. HARD. that it cause other people around you to also doubt their existence?

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