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Today, I would like to talk about prednisone.  Or rather, how much I dislike prednisone.

You see, recently I caught a cold, which really isn’t a big deal.  But the thing with me getting sick is that it inevitably settles in my lungs.  It’s not as bad as it sounds…anymore.  As a child, I would end up with bronchitis for the next half year.  Generally, it would clear up in time for the next wave of illness to go through the school and then I’d catch whatever illness was fashionable right then and get bronchitis again for the next six months.  Huzzah.

Bronchitis hasn’t really bothered me recently.  Actually, I don’t think it’s really been a problem since childhood.  But bronchitis did leave me with asthma.  Or made it worse.  Or something.  So now, when I get sick and it inevitably settles in my lungs, it really just makes my asthma super sensitive to everything for a while and my lungs get pretty congested.  I normally just ride this on through, try not to do too much physical exertion, etc etc.

This time though, it happened that I had doctor’s appointment previously scheduled because I had drained all my inhalers.  This isn’t really a bad thing except that my doctor likes to put me on prednisone when my lungs are even slightly congested.  Prednisone is supposed to help clear up your lungs.  And it does for me…to varying degrees of success.  I don’t think it works well enough for me to also put up with the side-effects, even though I only go through a one-week course.

Here is a list of side-effects with commentary:

  • Increased blood sugar for diabetics (I didn’t test my blood sugar during this time, so I don’t know if I was affected, but also I am not diabetic.)
  • Difficulty controlling emotion (I don’t really have any anyway, so this isn’t a big deal.)
  • Difficulty in maintaining train of thought (I may have been affected but I probably never made the connection, since I couldn’t maintain my train of thought.)
  • Weight gain (Also, zombie stomach, which I think I was zombie-sitting again.)
  • Facial swelling (I wasn’t on it long enough.)
  • Depression, mania, psychosis, or other psychiatric symptoms (Um…I lack emotion?)
  • Unusual fatigue or weakness (Yes, I was sleeping too much again.)
  • Mental confusion / indecisiveness (Maybe?)
  • Blurred vision (Yes, I noticed it this time when I was driving at night.  The safest of times to notice such things.)
  • Abdominal pain (Not really.)
  • Peptic ulcer (Nope.)
  • Infections (I didn’t manage to get infected with anything.  I don’t think the zombie stomach counts, because it isn’t mine anyway.)
  • Painful hips or shoulders (My shoulder is kind of messed up right now because of a muscle spasm.)
  • Steroid-induced osteoporosis (I wasn’t on it long enough.)
  • Stretch marks (Um…what’s stretching anyway?)
  • Osteonecrosis (I would have to be on it longer.)
  • Insomnia (I had the problem of sleeping too much because I was tired.)
  • Severe joint pain (My carpal tunnely wrist is pretty bad right now, but also…I had jammed it.)
  • Cataracts or glaucoma (Not yet…)
  • Anxiety (Am I…?)
  • Black stool (BABY POOP GREEN!!)
  • Stomach pain or bloating (Not really.)
  • Severe swelling (Or this either.)
  • Mouth sores or dry mouth (Dry mouth.  It’s really annoying.)
  • Avascular necrosis (Not that I know of.)
  • Hepatic steatosis (Or that.)
  • Nervousness (Am I…?  Do you think…?)
  • Acne (Nope.)
  • Skin rash (Always.  Annoying.)
  • Appetite gain (ZOMBIE STOMACH GO AWAY!)
  • Hyperactivity (No, more fatigue this time.)
  • Increased thirst (Yes.)
  • Frequent urination (See above.)
  • Diarrhea (No, I hadn’t realized this was one of the side-effects before compiling this list.)
  • Reduced intestinal flora (No idea, I didn’t take a flora/fauna tour of my intestines.)
  • Leg pain/cramps (Yes, and it was frequent this time.  And it is SO. ANNOYING.)
  • Sensitive teeth (Yes, this is also SO. ANNOYING.)
  • Head of a golden retriever (Ok, not really.  This is a side-effect of Nozulla.)

I am thinking I will just politely refuse going on prednisone next time.

Obtw, that e-trade commercial was one of my favorites in college.  That and the Gore/Bush election Snickers commercial.


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