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Tag Archives: super villains

You might not think that’s a good superpower, but it actually is. If you’re a supervillain that is. And in your supervillainy ways, you’ve been made at least middle management. Preferably middle management. And your dastardly plan involves slowly destroying the morale of your employees while extracting ever more work out of them. And if one of your employees is a superhero in disguise, all the better.

Still don’t believe it’s a good superpower to have if you’re a villain? It’s true, this superpower isn’t very flashy and might not be very good in a fist fight, but if you want a long lasting career as a supervillain, you have to be subtle and you have to plan.

Think of how easily supervillains crash and burn. Actually, not just supervillains. Think about how easily mere villains crash and burn. How many of them even make it to the super status? Sure, you’ll have the plucky villains who resolutely make new plans each time their originals were dashed, but they’re basically treading water. You can’t hope to achieve fame and recognition if you’re always treading water.

And that in itself is a problem. Supervillains make themselves too vulnerable when they’re widely recognized. They’re basically a beacon to every passing superhero to come and knock them out. True supervillains have to be crafty and subtle. Hence, the middle management. They’re there to make you miserable. You, the optomistic, cheerful, spunky superhero that you are. Or the normal worker drone. Whatever. Supervillains probably are not picky about to whom they spread misery.

Think about how quickly a supervillain in middle management can upend your day when they appear out of nowhere right as you were going to go on a coffee break, or lunch break, or leave for the day, and start a long and involved discussion about something work related. And somehow, before you even realize it, you’re saddled with more work, half of which is busy work but absolutely essential to the success of the project. It will probably require days more work with overtime (which you will not be paid for because you are a salaried worker drone).

Supervillain.

Superpower.

I’ve been thinking about superpowers again.  It seems that I think of superpowers often.  But in my defense, why shouldn’t I?  Superpowers are awexome to think about.

Anyway, I was thinking about superpowers, in particular my superpowers, especially related to super villainy, as I think it might be fun to be a super villain.  And I think I may have found another superpower that I possess related to super villainy.  I have the power of…COMPELLING PEOPLE TO COME TO THE OFFICE!

You see, THEM is a consulting company.  That means people are often on the road or at a client site.  Or sometimes, if they don’t need to be at a client site, they’ll work from home, because it’s kind of depressing to work in the office sometimes when you’re the only one there.  Especially on Fridays.  But, the last few days, I’ve been working in the office because our test rig is here and I needed to test stuff.  I suppose I could have brought all that stuff home with me, but where would I put all of it?  And what if Yaris wanted to try and help me work?  She might have dragged everything into her office and then set stuff on fire.  I don’t think she really has a head for engineering.  Poor Yaris, not cut out to be in the military or to be an engineer.  We’ll have to keep looking for what she can do for a career.

ANYWAY.

I’ve been working in the office and I was told originally that we start at 08:00.  Um…I realized really quickly (two links) that no one shows up at 08:00, if they show up at all.  So I’ve been coming later.  What I’ve noticed is that even though I’m coming in late, sometimes even an hour later than our supposed start time, I’m always the first one here.  People start trickling in sometimes just a few minutes after me.  Even if I’m the latest.  Ever.  EVAR. 

It must be because I have the power to FORCE PEOPLE TO THE OFFICE!  My mere presence in the office compels them to also go to the office!  And surely this is a superpower on par with super villainy because why would you want to go to the office if you could be working from home??  You’re being forced out of your comfortable bed (I assume everyone working from home just stays in bed all day) and into uncomfortable office appropriate attire and onto the road for a uncomfortable commute (because pretty much all commutes are uncomfortable and terrible in the LA area) and into the office where you are forced to interact uncomfortably with coworkers.  Isn’t that a villainous thing to do?

Bwahahahahahaha!