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Tag Archives: work

More thoughts on super villainy

I’ve been thinking about superpowers again.  It seems that I think of superpowers often.  But in my defense, why shouldn’t I?  Superpowers are awexome to think about.

Anyway, I was thinking about superpowers, in particular my superpowers, especially related to super villainy, as I think it might be fun to be a super villain.  And I think I may have found another superpower that I possess related to super villainy.  I have the power of…COMPELLING PEOPLE TO COME TO THE OFFICE!

You see, THEM is a consulting company.  That means people are often on the road or at a client site.  Or sometimes, if they don’t need to be at a client site, they’ll work from home, because it’s kind of depressing to work in the office sometimes when you’re the only one there.  Especially on Fridays.  But, the last few days, I’ve been working in the office because our test rig is here and I needed to test stuff.  I suppose I could have brought all that stuff home with me, but where would I put all of it?  And what if Yaris wanted to try and help me work?  She might have dragged everything into her office and then set stuff on fire.  I don’t think she really has a head for engineering.  Poor Yaris, not cut out to be in the military or to be an engineer.  We’ll have to keep looking for what she can do for a career.

ANYWAY.

I’ve been working in the office and I was told originally that we start at 08:00.  Um…I realized really quickly (two links) that no one shows up at 08:00, if they show up at all.  So I’ve been coming later.  What I’ve noticed is that even though I’m coming in late, sometimes even an hour later than our supposed start time, I’m always the first one here.  People start trickling in sometimes just a few minutes after me.  Even if I’m the latest.  Ever.  EVAR. 

It must be because I have the power to FORCE PEOPLE TO THE OFFICE!  My mere presence in the office compels them to also go to the office!  And surely this is a superpower on par with super villainy because why would you want to go to the office if you could be working from home??  You’re being forced out of your comfortable bed (I assume everyone working from home just stays in bed all day) and into uncomfortable office appropriate attire and onto the road for a uncomfortable commute (because pretty much all commutes are uncomfortable and terrible in the LA area) and into the office where you are forced to interact uncomfortably with coworkers.  Isn’t that a villainous thing to do?

Bwahahahahahaha!

It’s so healthy!

Recently, I was at my neighborhood Michael’s picking up some supplies for gifts.  While I was scouting for appropriately sized treat boxes, a middle aged gentleman needed to cross behind me in the aisle and excused himself to scoot on by.  He was being polite.  This was all normal stuff (as I understand what normal is).  But then, as he was walking behind me, he stopped suddenly and exclaimed something about how healthy my hair was.  Um…ok.  Normal?  Maybe??  And thus started was seemed like a ridiculously long conversation about my hair in the middle of Michael’s.

I say conversation.  That would imply that we would trade the talking role.  We didn’t.  I mostly just listened.  So…I don’t really know what it was.  Other than being awkward…since we were in the middle of Michael’s…and he was a complete stranger.

Anyway, he had lots of compliments for my hair, mostly along the line of it being thick and healthy.  From what I gathered, he works in marketing for a hair product place.  My hair is really healthy.  He wasn’t trying to sell me anything (they sell directly to salons).  My hair is really healthy.  I can probably live to be 100 and still have a full head of hair.  My hair shines appropriately.  I don’t know how hair can shine inappropriately, but he’s the expert, I guess.  My hair is really healthy.  He didn’t want to embarrass me too much.  My hair is really healthy.  He’s really glad the “salt and pepper” look doesn’t bother me.  My hair is really healthy.  He asked that I do the hair flippy thing in the middle of the store a few times because he really wanted to see the volume.  He wanted me see my hair “just one more” time a few times.  The whole exchange was…awkward.  I couldn’t find a graceful way to extract myself from the thing.

For those who are incredibly creeped out by this…well, yes.  I suppose you have every right to be.  If it makes you feel better, I was not in any immediate danger (we’ll just put aside the fact that I have a very poor sense of personal safety) as we were in the middle of a public area.  Also, he was…kind of fruity.  Not that it’s bad or anything, but if we had gotten into a physical fight, I could have held my own.  He had a limp handshake.  I loathe limp handshakes.  Especially from men.  Gross.

Through this whole exchange, he didn’t try selling me anything, but he did give me a tip.  Apparently, in West LA they are currently looking for hair models.  He said that I would be a prime candidate for the job.  He rather strongly encouraged me to look into it.  I guess…that can be my backup plan…if this new place doesn’t work out.