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Today’s story is one of shock and outrage.  It is a true story.  It is a story of something that occurred at work.  Let’s begin.

I have been working some very long hours at work trying to meet a ridiculous deadline.  I spend these long hours mostly out on our assembly floor next to the machine I am trying to start up.  The assembly floor is not a terribly clean place.  The guys make some effort cleaning their work areas, but it’s a warehouse-like space so it’s never as neat and clean as the office portion of our building.

Anyway, as I was doing stuff next to the machine, I decided that I needed to reference the electrical diagram.  I took the drawings out their pocket on the machine and as I was perusing the drawing, I suddenly found a large black and red spider walking across the top page.

SPIDER! It's a male Phidippus johnsoni. (Photo links back to source)

It momentarily startled me.  I am normally startled by large spiders (I think he was about 2cm across) that appear in places where I don’t expect them.  I got over it pretty quickly and went to find something to catch it.  It was a really nice looking spider, after all.

I have a jar of paper roses on my desk which I decided would do nicely as a temporary spider home.

Jar of roses.

I quickly dumped out all the roses

Roses on desk.

and went back outside to try and catch the spider.  During which time, grampaw, one of my coworkers, came by and asked me what I was doing.  I told him I found a large black spider on the electrical drawing and that I was going to catch it.  This is important.  Please remember that.  I told him that I found a spider and that I was going to catch it.

I poked the drawing a few times and the spider obligingly came out of his hiding place from underneath.  Grampaw expressed the appropriate reaction at seeing such a nice black spider BUT THEN PROCEEDED TO PICK UP THE DRAWING AND DUMP THE SPIDER ON THE GROUND!  Ok fine.  I can work with that.  But then as I was going down to scoop him up in the bottle, GRAMPAW STOMPED ON THE SPIDER!

Shock.  And disbelief.  And then outrage.  I raised my voice to grampaw.

Aside: I hardly raise my voice to anyone.  I am not in the habit of being loud.  I do not believe there is much cause for being loud on a regular basis.  I can be loud.  I mean, just because I don’t doesn’t mean I don’t know how.  But it’s kind of an arduous process for me.  And I don’t like to do it.  Anyway, I have never raised my voice to grampaw before (or really anyone else at work).  End aside.

Grampaw was a bit taken aback at my reaction to his squishing my spider.  Apparently, he hadn’t heard me say that I wanted to catch it.  Apparently, he didn’t see me waving a jar around.  Apparently, grampaw is is quite unobservant.

I had raised such a commotion that our old shop manager, who is contracting for us right now, came by to ask grampaw what was going on.  Our old shop manager is always asking me to repeat myself because he can’t hear me.  I suppose the fact that I was raising a commotion was very surprising to him.  Grampaw briefly detailed him on what had happened and let me rage off to the side by myself.  HE KILLED MY SPIDER!

Anyway, grampaw says he’s never going to save my life again (note: my life was never in danger because that was a jumping spider, which are not venomous, but a bite probably would hurt and look ugly since they have large chelicerae).

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