Random moosages as I see fit.

We have a Blendtec.  We have a Vitamix.  Why do we have both?  That’s a good question.

You see, my mother once was in Costco and they were demonstrating a Blendtec, as that’s what they were selling then.  Costco is notoriously fickle in their high-end blender allegiances.  Why, just a few months back, they were demonstrating Vitamixes and a family friend bought one of those.

Anyway, right.  That’s how we got the Blendtec.  My mother was at Costco and decided she liked it based on the demonstration.

We have a Vitamix, too.  I’m not as clear as how we got a Vitamix.  As near as I can figure, another family friend decided she liked the Blendtec better than her old Vitamix, so she bought a new Blendtec and ended up giving the Vitamix to my mother because…she thought my mother could use another high-end blender?  I don’t know.  Perhaps she didn’t know we already had a Blendtec.  Anyway, the Vitamix ended up in our possession.

Now, what could we possibly do with two high-end blenders?  That is simple…

SMOOTHIE WARS!

It is quite simple.  You lay out the ingredients so that each blender has the same amount and same variety of fruits and/or vegetables and combining liquid.  Then you pit the blenders head to head on which one makes the best smoothie in the fastest amount of time.

It goes something like this…

Setting: the kitchen with the Vita-mix and Blendtec set up in two different stations, side by side, with their operators.  Referee and judge stalks behind them verifying everything is in place for the battle.
Referee and judge (R): Do you have your carrots, cabbage, beets, beef, potatoes, bananas, and apples?!
Vitamix operator (V) and Blendtec operator (B): Check!
R: Do you have your orange juice?!
V and B: Check!
R: Do you have your wheatgrass shot?!
V and B: Check!
R: Then, on your mark…get set…GO! (shoot pistol into air)
V and B furiously stuff their fruits and vegetables into their respective blenders and start pulsing them.  They add juice as the blenders are kicked up into high gear.  Finally, they add the shot of wheatgrass in a flourish at the very end, just as the bell chimes to signal the end of the round.
The judge walks around and takes a small sample of each smoothie.  After much consideration, he declares a winner.  The assembled audience goes wild, confetti falls from the ceiling, smoothies are passed all around, the winner gets a garland, the blenders are filled with soap and water and pulsed and the cleanup begins.  The loser hangs his head and sulks off to the side while plotting his strategy for the next battle despite the raucous cheering around him.

This…this happens in our house a lot.  Like all the time.  Yeah…

Oh, and I don’t know what kind of smoothie my list of ingredients would make.  It doesn’t really sound that appetizing though.