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Recently, I caught a cold.  It’s not a big deal.  In fact, it wasn’t even a bad cold.  I have been slightly congested and occasionally dizzy, but otherwise I’ve been fine.  The only problem is that a cold will often trigger my asthma and then I’m set to coughing and hacking and choking and wheezing and…you know.  I’m pretty used to this.  And actually, my asthma is relatively minor.  It really only flairs up when it’s dry and windy or in the midst of/right after a cold.  Lucky for me, the Santa Anas are blowing merrily outside and I’m just getting over a cold.  So I’m coughing a lot.

Coughing takes a lot of exertion.  It could possibly be a good workout if you weren’t already starved for oxygen because your airways are inflamed and coated with a thick glob of mucous (go ahead and take a moment to imagine that.  It’s ok, I’ll wait).  When I end up coughing for a prolonged period of time, I end up with sore abominables.  Yes, abominables.  You know, those muscles in your abominable cavity.

Still have no idea what I’m talking about?  It has to do with ye olde email joke lists that used to circulate when the internets were fresh and new and people delighted in checking their email.  One of my favorites were supposed student test answers.  Students who obviously hadn’t studied enough for the test.  See below.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?

A: The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

This one has by far always my favorite.  Humans have brainiums!  It makes so much sense!  Your brain is in there!  What else would you call it?  Also, humans have boraxes.  It’s like a thorax, but not really.  And of course, the abominable cavity.  So abominable.  So many disagreeable, unpleasant things go on in that cavity.  And the bowels, wow.  What could be more abominable than A, E, I, O, and U?

And just because it amuses me so much, I decided to draw out what this all looks like.

Abominable. Just abominable.

So anyway, I’ve been coughing so much, my abominables hurt.

I didn’t include a link to anything because…those email lists are really old.  Also, I don’t know if they’re truly student answers.  I wouldn’t be surprised if they are, but I can’t say for sure.  Anyway, these things probably exist in some form or fashion somewhere on the internet.  Actually, yes.  I just checked.  So you can just go look it up yourself if you’re curious.

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One Comment

  1. abominable. hehehe. I remember those.


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