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Monthly Archives: January 2013

PM: is this from the asthma or the flu? 9:53 AM
Me: Both. My lungs are always actively trying to escape the confines of my body. Regardless of my general health. 9:56 AM

That was part of a conversation between my project manager and I this morning.  I get along rather well with my current PM.  He prefers texting over talking on the phone.  I am totally behind that.

Anyway, this conversation made me realize something today.  It made me realize that my lungs are really bad escape artists.  You see, I recently got the fluagain.  This makes me cough a lot.  On top of the coughing a lot I already do on a normal basis.  Because I also have asthma.  In case you did not gather that from the snippet of conversation I posted above.

Why did you not gather that?  I thought it was very clear.

So then, because of the asthma, I cough a lot.  I may also just enjoy coughing.  Coughing is my constant companion, always there for me.  Because of the flu, I cough even more.  Coughing may love me more than Monday does.  I sometimes describe coughing as “hacking up my lungs” because that’s what coughing sounds like.  The phase “hacking up my lungs” makes it sound like you’re trying to forcefully eject your lungs from your body.  I don’t particularly want to eject my lungs from my body as I’m pretty sure I need them to breathe, yet they are always trying to escape.  Therefore, my lungs must be escape artists.  But, they are really bad ones, because they have never once succeeded in escaping.

And thus I have presented this morning’s deep thought to you.

At the time of this writing, my eyes hurt.  They’re kind of sore behind my eyeballs.  The eye socket area.  I can feel it especially when I look up or track objects from side to side.  I have decided that this obviously means that I’m developing a mutant ability to blast lasers out of my eyes.  Maybe the same way Cyclops can.

Actually, I kind of hope that’s not true.  Not the developing a superpower part.  I like having superpowers.  I hope that I’m not developing the same ability that Cyclops has because that would mean I would have to wear glasses all the time again.  I had LASIK done so that I wouldn’t have to wear glasses all the time.

Of course, that also brings up the question if this could be my laser heat vision starting to develop over a year after my experiment with LASIK and tomatoes.  I kind of hope this is the case.  I could totally utilize laser heat vision. It kind of sucks that I had to wait so long for laser heat vision.  And actually, I don’t even know if it’s going to develop fully because I haven’t been taking care to eat lots of tomatoes since the procedure.  I hope I didn’t ruin my chance of getting laser heat vision.

Also, I am choosing not to believe the more commonplace and more likely scenario that this is just a symptom of the flu.